I chose the theme of this blog , the dancing ladies that you see swirling playfully around the top of the page. I like to see them, every time I look at this blog. They look so carefree. They are not afraid.
Fear is one one of the most mentally destructive things, to be experienced for an ongoing time period. Humans were not designed to be able to tolerate fear in the body and the mind, for prolonged time frames.
Our fight or flight mode is set up for the threat to last for only a few minutes and then be over.
When we live in abuse, we live in almost constant fear. We feel afraid to anger our partner and take care with every word we say. We have to careful where we go and what we do, so as not to anger them.
When we sleep, there is fear. When we wake up, there is fear. When we are out of the house and away from them, there is a lot of fear. We go home to the unpredictable. The fear of the unknown mood of the abuser upon our arrival home, torments us.
I actually used to stay awake all night because i was afraid to sleep, Then i would sleep on the couch, in the living room, during the afternoon. My entire schedule was eventually all built around ways I would feel the least amount of the threat.
The constant feeling of threat haunts you years later. Sometimes it just kicks on like old times. Once it kicks on, it is impossible to turn off. It has to run its course. That is post traumatic stress disorder .
be Yourself, but be safe first !