Gaslighting Video on YouTube by Annie

Standard

These videos are about my personal recovery from narcissistic abuse. They are not a substitute for seeking mental health treatment from a mental health professional.

Gaslighting is a tactic used by narcissists to control you and make you feel like you are going crazy. It gives them the upper hand.

If you continue to be in a gaslighting situation for an extended period of time, it will take a toll of your mental health.

I give examples in this video from my own relationships. I give two examples of different types of gaslighting tactics that were done to me. One type involves physical objects being misplaced or moved on you. This is similar to the movie “Gaslight” which I watched recently on Amazon Prime.

The other tactic is when they deny certain conversations ever took place. They make you feel like your memory is going and that you are mentally unbalanced.

These gaslighting tactics are also used for them to scold you, punish you and demean you.

I am not a mental health professional. I am a blogger on WordPress. I have a blog called Gentle Mental Annie, which focuses on mental health issues and some other random “Annie” stuff.

I also have a blog called the Lovely Wounded Lady, which is for women from abuse to come together to share experiences and support each other.

The videos here and the blogs are supportive and caring but they are not a substitute for mental health professional treatment. If you are feeling depressed, having severe anxiety or any other narcissistic abuse syndrome symptoms, you should seek professional mental treatment .

I do like the Spartan Life Coach videos, if you are looking for more information about this topic. They were helpful to me, as was his course on Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse. These are just friendly reviews / suggestions.

Please do not get to the place where you are severely depressed or suicidal without seeking professional help. Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome is very severe and can cause mental health issues.

Blessings,
Annie

Advertisements

7 responses »

  1. Good video and post! That first guy wasn’t very smart. Why didn’t he throw the pepper away? Or was it that he WANTED you to find all the pepper in hopes that you’d lose your mind, confront him about it so that he could somehow find a way to switch back onto you? What happened after you found the pepper? I’m so curious!

    Like

    • I think he felt powerful that he could get it and I could not. It is hard to guess about his thinking on that one. It was on a very high shelf and I am sure he did not think I would climb up there. Also those shelves were “his” shelves in the kitchen. I was not allowed to touch certain things…like the coffee maker, that I bought and certain things in the kitchen. He would get angry if anything was moved from where he wanted it. I would not have dared to go into those shelves when he lived there.
      Annie

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I think that you are attached too much to the past. Most people have been hurt and wronged by relationships in their lives. The important thing is not to cling to them and go ahead. Life is a continuous flux change, go with change and look ahead. Men, or women, are like fish there are billions of fish in the sea and so of men or women.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, I do understand what you are saying. It would be the right advice for regular people that do not have people pleaser syndrome from childhood abuse.

      But for people that have pourous (sorry not sure how to spell that) ego boundaries, because they were taught to always do what pleases others, and to ignore any feelings they have, it is important that they learn certain things.

      People that grew up with narcissistic abusive parents are targets for narcissist abusive people.

      Narcissists can recognize their easy targets . People that never were taught to have personal boundaries will find themselves in relationships with people that will intentionally damage them both physically and emotionally.

      When the people pleaser just ” moves on” and does not evaluate what happened in the abusive relationship and how they were caught , then they will ” move on” into another abusive relationship, possibly putting their life in danger.

      People that are easy targets for abusers need to learn red flags, tactics that are typical of abusers, and how narcissists and other abusers think.

      They need to learn what things about them, and their lack of boundaries caused them to be hurt by an abusive person.

      It is not clear to people pleasers, who come from abusive childhoods, what constitutes abuse and what does not.

      It is obvious to regular people that for instance when a partner demands to know where you have been, whete you are going and then begins to make you ask permission to see your friends, that that is crossing a boundary.

      Normal people, who learned not to tolerate certain boundary crossing behaviors, will not tolerate that kind of thing from a partner.

      But people pleasers, who are always targeted by abusive people, will not recognize when they are being mistreated, sometimes until their life becomes in danger.

      Many women are killed by abusive partners every year.

      So, the purpose of making videos about abusive behaviors is to alert and teach the people that do not understand, that certain behaviors occur and are intentional abuse by the narcissist.

      If people do not learn, they will keep being pulled into abusive relationships. They will not be able to find the healthy relationship because they have no frame of reference of what a healthy relationship is like.

      We grew up watching angry, abusive relationships. We grew up being told we deserved to be abused

      . We perceive that certain kinds of abuse are a normal part of relationships.

      At some point we do have to go back through and identify what abuse is, when and how it occured to us, and what we should have seen that we did not see, until the relationship was very severe.

      There are some of us, whi have been through abuse over and over again that are now realizing the patterns of the abusers, that can be identified early on as red flags.

      We have also learned that we do not deserve abuse and that what we learned as children was wrong.

      The videos are designed to validate people’ s experience and to put names on the different kinds of abuse.

      This gives people a way of communicating with others who want to help them to get out of an abusive relationship.

      People pleasers are often confused and unsure if they are really being abused. The videos will show and name various abuse tactics and ways abusers control and manipulate the mind of the victim , im order to force them into complete submission.

      The videos are designed to help people who are in, or have just gotten out of an abusive relationship.

      It is impossible to heal without being able to have a vocabulary, such as the term gaslighting, in order to understand why you feel so depressed, broken and damaged in the aftermath of an abusive relationship.

      Many people begin to drink, self isolate and even commit suicide after an abusive relationship because people retraumatize them by telling them thay they are exaggerating about what happened to them.

      This also puts them in a vulnerable state and sets them up to be pulled in by the Love Bombing stage of a narcissist. Which then turns into the devaluation stage.

      There is a great video by self care haven on youtube which explains how narcissists draw in their victims and then destroy them.

      The video is Self Care Haven ” Five Powerful Ways Narcissists. … ( o forget..i will have to check it…

      Anyway I would recommend that video because it will help you to understand what narcissists intentionally do to their victims.

      Liked by 1 person

    • You are welcome. I am very glad that you have never experienced this kind of victimization. I would not wish it on you.

      I am borrowing my ex husband’s laptop and am setting it up now. I have been blogging on my cell phone for a week and it is difficult to send YouTube links on it.

      As soon as I get this laptop working ( fingers crossed) I will send you a couple of YouTube links that explain this much better than I do.

      It will give you more of an understanding just in case you end up encountering someone in an abusive situation. You will understand better why it is hard for them to just walk out and also what kind of trauma is left over and why they are depressed / and have PTSD from the experience.
      Annie

      Like

  3. Great post! I can totally relate to your video… especially to the conversation one going back and forth. It is not until you are out of the relationship that you realize that you were not the crazy one! Thanks for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s