I Miss the Illusion

Annie's Poetry

For some illogical reason I miss you

It really does not make sense

You weren’t the person you pretended to be

and I know now about your intent

You used me to get what you wanted

You sucked all my blood like a vampire

You changed personalities 

when you wanted

and when it would suit your design

I don’t know why I should be missing 

the person you pretended to be

But I sit here and think of your voice

and wish it was someone I knew

The person you acted like you were

is still etched in my heart

Such a painful reality to know

that the person I loved was not real

And wonder of any small part of you

Ever cared how it was that I feel

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domestic abuse, life, mental abuse, mental health, narcissism, narcissist, narcissistic abuse, poem

Winter …poetry about abusive relationships

The winter is coming

Like a trigger from hell

The memories flood me

My dreams are not well

Nightmarish visions

Of what it was like

Under your tyranny

Torment and strife

You captured my choices…

Opinions you punished

Your opinion alone

Was allowed to be wielded

Your ways were so perfect

My ways were wrong so wrong

My thoughts and opinions

Could never be voiced

Punishment was imminent

Judgement and shaming

Retaliation was swift

If I did not obey…

Kindness eluded you

Judgements were harsh

No appeals to the king

No simple mistrial

You ruled without mercy

Obedience unquestioned

No allowance for defiance

Your rules defied reason

 Appeal was a luxury

You didn’t allow

Your rulings nonsensical

With severe consequence…

I froze in the winter

Heating oil was denied

My money you stole

Demanded your rights

I suffered in cold

you ensured your own comfort

Vodka and beer

Warmed you all day

I still feel the cold

It chills my poor bones

The memory haunts me

Till I feel alone