abuse, domestic abuse, emotional abuse, life, mental abuse, mental health, narcissist, narcissistic abuse, narcissistic abuse syndrome

Are You in An Abusive Relationship? Has Your Self Esteem Gotten Worse?

If you are still living in an abusive situation, then you need to build your self esteem. Your abuser has been intentionally crushing down your self esteem, in order to keep you a prisoner of the relationship and in order to control you. It is a tactic used by abuser. If you realize this, it will help you.

Tactics used to crush your self esteem include but are not limited to…

1. calling you names

2. embarrassing you in front of others

3. causing you to fail in situations and then criticizing you for failing

4. placing unrealistic demands and expectations on you and then getting angry or seeming disappointed when you cannot fulfill them

5. causing you to feel inferior to them’

6. telling you that you are inferior to others

7. interfering in your relationships

8. criticizing the way you look , your make-up. the way you dress or your weight

9. accusing you of cheating or being slutty

10. telling you that other people do not like you, are against you, cannot be trusted

11. making you feel like you put less into the relationship than they do, even though the opposite is true

12. sleep depriving you

13. interfering with your desires to achieve things, get ahead, get education or work advancement

14. disbelieving things you say

15. accusing you of lying or not remembering things

16. telling you that you are mentally ill

17.  manufacturing evidence that you are mentally ill

18. denying that conversations took place

19. denying things they told you or did to you

20. silent treatment

There are many more tactics that the abusers use to make you feel like you should not feel good about yourself.  They want to be the only one in your life.

They want you at their beck and call. But they are not their when you need something.

They want you to believe that they are smarter and more educated than they are. They want you to believe that they have a better grip on reality than you do. They do things to make you question your grip on reality.

Anything you can do for yourself that will help you to have better self esteem, and counter all of this soul crushing and demeaning, will help you. It will help you to think your way out of the relationship.

You need self esteem in order to feel worthy of something and someone better. As long as you feel like the inferior one in the relationship, you will probably stay. But you are not the inferior person in your relationship. You are being abused and manipulated.

You will need to get help if some sort. In order to be able to ask for help. you will need to feel that you deserve help, and you do.

Your friends and family may side with the abuser, if he has gotten to them first. The abuser often realizes that if you try to leave, you will try to get help from your family. They will say thing to them, to make it look like you are the mentally ill one or the abuser in the relationship.

You may need to go outside of your circles to get help. You have to believe in yourself and your story. DO not let the abuser tell you whether or not you are being abused. They can say the words, but it does not make it truth. You know what the truth is, but you are being intentionally confused.  You have to believe inside of yourself that you are being abused.

If you are reading this then you are probably being abused or have gone through abuse in the past. If the relationship feels bad, gives you anxiety, makes you feel like a different person that you thought you were or makes you feel afraid, then something is not right.

Remember  love is caring and kind. Love is patient and understanding. It goes both ways, not just one direction.

If you are doing everything and they are sucking the life out of you, then you are being abused. Do not believe anything the abuser tells you. I am not saying to argue with them, but just know inside of yourself that their truth is tainted with lies.

Learn about abuse. Learn about malignant narcissistic personality disorder. Learn ways to feel worthy and valuable.

How did you feel before the relationship, about yourself?  Has your self esteem gone down? Has your self image changed? These are red flags.

My thoughts are with you as you begin to become stronger. Your self esteem, self confidence and knowing that you are worth more than this abuser is giving you, will help you to find a way out and to be able to survive and thrive.


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6 thoughts on “Are You in An Abusive Relationship? Has Your Self Esteem Gotten Worse?”

  1. My ex blatantly told me I had dementia and would constantly claim that I was hopelessly insecure because I was still “hangup” on my past relationship. I don’t know how he arrived at that but it was pretty clear that he said it to hurt me.

    Very true… Genuine love does not seek to hurt but to build and It goes both ways. Good post.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am sorry you had to go through that abuse. It is very hard to recover from but it can be done. Some of the scars will stay with us, but we will stronger people who are more educated about abuse.
      Thank you your comment.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you for this post. My ex would repeatedly tell me that I was crazy, deny we had certain conversations, and make me feel inferior, simply to hide his infidelity. It’s important for all people to learn the signs of mental/emotional abuse to better protect themselves and know when to leave a bad situation.


    1. You are welcome for the post. I am glad it helped to validate your experience and your feelings.
      You are right that people need to be aware of this kind of abuse because it is invisible to the eye.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. If one is in an abusive relationship the only way is to get rid of the abuser. It’s as simple as that. I’ve learnt to do so instantly and it works wonder. Abusers are like worms that eat out one’s confidence and self esteem. Done with them.

    Liked by 1 person

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