domestic abuse, emotional abuse, life, mental abuse, mental illness

Nine Personality Traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Narcissistic Personality Disorder has nine traits. This is a very good documentary, which explains the nine traits of NPD.

The nine traits are as follows

1. Grandiosity –  This is an unrealistic view of oneself that they are bigger than life and better than others

2. Arrogant and Domineering – think they are better than everyone else. They know more than anyone else. Controlling of others and dominating.

3. Preoccupation with Success and Power 

4. Lack of empathy – an inability to care about the feelings of others or put themselves in someone else’s shoes

5. Belief of being unique – they feel very different than other people, like there is only one person that is anything like them at all

6. Sense of entitlement – They are owed things.  They are entitled to anything and everything that they want and desire, including taking over the lives of other people. There is no appreciation when people do anything for them because they were entitled to it, in the first place.

7. Requires excessive admiration – they want to be admired and paid attention to all the time. They have no tolerance for anyone else being in the spotlight.

8. Exploitative – they will take advantage of other people for their own best interest. They will take more than they give, refuse to pay people for their services in a fair way …if at all, and use people up until there is nothing left of them

9. Envious of others – they are resentful when other people have things that they feel entitles to. They become angry when they see that other people have things that they do not

Sam vaknin is interviewed in this documentary. He is a level 9 narcissist who is unusual in that he is self aware. He is aware that he has this disorder.

One of the things that Sam says in this film, was very familiar to what I heard my most recent ex narcissist say many times.

Sam says ” …the slightest hint of criticism or disagreement threatens the precarious balance that I have created over many years…the balance that constitutes my personality…you are out to destroy and kill me, so I am out to destroy and kill you..”

My ex used to get disproportionately angry when anyone criticized him or even offered any advice or suggestion that he change anything. Even suggestions from business coaches, that he paid to advise him, were taken as a threat.

Any time anyone disagreed with him or suggested that he change anything, he would become so angry that he would become violent and inflict self harm in front of them.

I think this was a way of acting out and also of frightening people. He would scream, he would hit his own head with his fist. On a few occasions he actually strangled his own neck with his hands.

He also was known to yell in anger and rip and tear his own shirt, in front of his employees. He would threaten self harm and even suicide when anyone asked him to do anything. He said that people should do things for him. They had no right to ask him to do things, because he could not tolerate any demands.


12 thoughts on “Nine Personality Traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder”

    1. You are absolutely right. That is a good one to add. I was with someone like that. I have done some research and I think that the narcissists that rage in anger , are comorbid with borderline personality disorder.
      They have the narcissistic traits and also borderline traits of emotional unbalance. Their emotions are all over the place, back and forth all of a sudden with no good reason.

      This is one of the worst and most dangerous type of narcissists to be with. Very frightening when they rage. You have no idea what you did that could have made them so angry.

      I am sorry you had to go through that.



  1. Very good post. I especially liked the video, though it left me rather stunned. I’ve read a lot of Sam Vaknin’s articles on malignant self love but this is the first time I’m watching this particular interview. Quite informative in a disturbing kind of way.
    Thanks for sharing.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Sometimes we carry shame for things that the narcissist caused.
      Its not your fault.
      Your kids may still find a path that they can be happy on.
      These toxic narcissists leave lots of devastation in their path.
      You can follow me on Facebook gentlekindness coaching page.
      And visit the ge


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s