domestic abuse, emotional abuse, life, malignant narcissistic personality disorder, mental abuse, mental health, mental illness, Narcissist psychopath, Psychopath

Narcissistic Anti-social Darkness

There are narcissists that also have anti-social personality. What the extra element is, if you were dealing up close with psychopathy, is that they get an elevation from being sadistic.

Anti-social personality is what the accepted term now is for psychopath. The other term people mix around and interchange with these is sociopath.

Pick your poison, you are dealing with someone who intentionally inflicts pain, be it physical,  emotional or psychological.

The narcissistic psychopath inflicts pain just to see you suffer. They feel powerful when they can make you suffer with no other reason that to do it.

Narcissists inflict pain in order to make you fear feeling that emotional pain, because this makes you more compliant.  If you suffer through their emotional punishments like silent treatment or dissappearing from your radar for days or weeks on end, then you will do anything to avoid those punishments in the future.

Once the narcissist has trained you by inflicting emotional pain on you, then you become more compliant with what they want, or ask you for. You fear disagreeing with them, joking with them or doing anything but wait to find out what they want.

The narcissist trains you with punishment.  Their training is painful.  They threaten abuse, in order to keep you compliant also.

But the narcissist that is co-morbid with psychopathy will cause you mental injury, emotional pain, because they like to.

If your ex seemed to cause pain to you, or if they broke up with you in a way that was cruel and unusual. ..did all they could to make it as painful for you as possible…even though there was no strategic gain for them..it did not get them any additional narcissistic supply….

Then it is possible that you were with someone who was far darker and more dangerous that you thought.

This should be a very good reason for you to stay no contact.  You very well may be underestimating the danger of the person you were with.

If you are with someone that fits these criteria and has these behaviors,  please find a safe way out. Then stay no contact.  It is not worth the risk you are taking to stay.

These people are insidious and live in the dark world in their minds. I do not want you anywhere near them.

Blessings and wishes for your peace of mind and safety,

Annie

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11 thoughts on “Narcissistic Anti-social Darkness”

  1. In November, I was involved in a nine hour standoff with state police because I broke up with someone. I broke up with him when his wife called me as I sat on his couch like every night. The wife that he had supposedly left, but it turns out, he was a sociopath. So I think you know what he was doing. And he snapped in that moment and accused ME of running game on him with his wife, etc. I had planned to be with a man who was that amazingly sick? His twisted games that only a person with no moral compass could play were really my fault once he got caught.

    I learned so much about narcissism, psychopathy, sociopathy from him. I know the signs now…the love bombing, the mirroring, the way they break you just a little and come back more perfect than before once they have you slightly more dependent on them.

    And, for the record, I followed the no contact rule from that point onward even though he tried to force his way past that.

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    1. You were very wise to listen to the wife when she called you. Many exes try to warn the new victim and the new victwm rarely believes the ex.

      Often the abuser has already thought about the ex calling to warn her and has painted her as crazy, jealous or a vindictive lier to the new victim.

      I am glad you listened and heard her out. I am also glad you are safe now. These people are dangerous on many levels.

      Annie ❤

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  2. This is very good advice. Been there but got out quick. He even admitted to liking it when I was hurt… You’re right, you have to cut all contact.

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    1. I have heard abusive people admit that they get some pleasure out of my pain too.

      One of them told me that it made him feel closer to me, like I could understand his pain better, and he felt less pain when I was in severe PTSD attack. I was having a mental breakdown once, and he did not hold me or try to comfort me…he just said how it made him glad that I had severe mental suffering like he did.

      He also said “of course it is not as bad as what I go through. .but at least you have mental suffering ” like it was good but not quite good enough. More suffering on my part was needed for him to truly be able to love me.

      Very sick and twisted stuff.

      Another guy tol me that when he could scream at a woman and make her cry then he felt good and powerful.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It almost makes sense but LOL it won’t be this woman. Guys like that need to find someone who’s into being abused, that’s not me. Sounds like it’s not you either.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Thanks for this. My mother did such a number on me growing up that for years I was worried I might have either of these personality disorders (finally got my official diagnosis this week, neither of them are remotely on the table or close to what I’ve got, which is out the other side of borderline and then some, I’m still not sure if it’s borderline (weird subset that’s not like the normal one) or a separate disorder – plus bipolar of course). The key thing to identify antisocials and narcissists is impulse control (I’ve found out this week) – apparently, people like me have such poor impulse control and emotional control because we are on the complete other side of the personality spectrum – with people like me, we can’t comprehend the logistics of never showing our true selves, it’s always on show whether we want it to be or not, whereas people with Narcissism or Antisocial personality disorders have very strong impulse control – because they don’t want you to see who or what they really are, because they’re still reeling you in to the very end, and this is why even if they get caught they will lie to the death (like my ex-friend – BTW her boyfriend dumped all her unwanted belongings at her house this week that she’d assumed he’d store for her until she deigned to return to him, and we’ve both watched those videos and found them helpful, although I can’t afford the $50 course I am definitely going to use the videos as starting points to work through with the psychiatric team as she caused me so much stress that it triggered another psychotic episode last week and I’d been doing fine for 2 months).

    Anyway, just wanted to say about the impulse control thing because when the psychiatrist told me that, I suddenly realized this is a REALLY easy way to spot a narcissist/antisocial personality disorder person (although obviously they’re not the only things that cause OTT impulse control).

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    1. The covert narcissist I was with hid his impulse control issues from me very well for a long time. The first red flag I would have seen, if I had known about them, would have been the allopathic defenses, which is that they blame everything on others.

      If they lost their job, it is completely someone else’s fault. They might tell you this about five jobs they have lost in a row.

      If anything is wrong with their business, their body, their family or anything at all…it is someone else’s fault.

      Also, one narcissist test that I heard on Spartan Life Coach channel is to ask a question like…
      “Name way in which you feel you need to grow or change ”
      They cannot answer this question in a normal way, because they do not believe they need to grow or change.

      You would have borderline or borderline traits which tend to go along with C-PTSD most likely, because you were raised by a narcissist . If they were comorbid with borderline (emotionally disregulated ) then it would have caused for you to become emotionally disregulated for two reasons. ..
      One – being close to someone who is emotionally disregulated, for an ongoing period, especially with no way out…such as being dependent to live with them and dependent on their care as a child….will cause you to become emotionally disregulated.

      It is living in a constant state of being in tune to their moods, which could change violently at any time, and you had to ignore your own needs, feelings and personal developmental growth…in order to cater to their unpredictable moods..

      2. You were traumatized and have PTSD from living in ongoing mental and emotional abuse. The constant state of stress that being trapped into an abusive situation causes the brain to become disregulated when it comes to emotional flashbacks and anything that triggers a threat response due to it reminding your brain of bad memories.

      Even things we cannot remember consciously, because they are too traumatic, still have triggers. You couldsuddenly feel like you are in a threatening situation and not know why you feel that way. Because something in your subconscious memories has been triggered by a tone of voice, a phrase, a sound, a smell, a song, a situation that is similar to one that involved trauma or any number of things.

      One thing you can do to calm down the disregulation is to try to learn your triggers. Write down everything about the situations you are in at the time of severe mood shifts.

      Keep a log and look over them, to see if there are things in common. If you write about two or three situations and there is a common element then that might be a subconscious trigger to be aware of.

      There is another method for borderline which has to do with stopping before reacting with any words, then asking yourself questions about why you are feeling the way you are feeling. Is there a real threat that matches the level of threat response going off in your body?

      It is good to rationally evaluate threats to see if they are real and at what level of urgency they are.

      Sometimes people with borderline do overreact to situations that feel threatening to them…however sometimes there is no reaction when there should be a reaction.

      As people with C-PTSD, we have been forced to condition ourselves to desensitize our brains when other people are cruel, and violent. We also get into derealization states when things seem to be not right…we were trained to ignore abuse.

      So, the threat systems which overreact to emotional triggers, will fail us in the face of actual threats like other people abusing us.

      You can learn to become more calm and more level if you learn about the way the brain should react to threats, how yours was damaged, and what your brain tends to do.

      Recovering from psychological trauma that was ongoing and loaded onto you for years, at all different ages…is very hard…but you can get relief.

      Blessings,
      Annie

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks for this – my mum had clear borderline tendencies as well but not the lack of impulse control. She always seemed to know exactly what she was doing. Has taken a long time to figure it all out (and am still figuring with some of it). She was also in a wheelchair (she decided to be) and I looked after her as her main carer from age 9, so when I left I felt profoundly guilty. I have copied your answer into a word document as I think it will be useful in the future as well. Thank you for taking the time to tell me all of that. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

    2. You are welcome. My mother was borderline too and an alcoholic. My sister ended up to be manipulative and narcissistic.

      I finally left them to have each other. There was never room for three.
      Long story..but there is the short version.
      So this is why I have some particular empathy for you.

      Annie

      Liked by 1 person

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