There is a reason why I really want you to watch this video. Mainly I want you to understand about mirroring, which is one of the tactics that narcissists use to manipulate you into feeling like they really understand you.
The man who made this video is doing it with the intention of giving you great information that you can use in your daily life and in your business.
This video does have valuable skills that you can use. The can be used with good intentions in order to make people feel comfortable with you. Dr. Matt who is leading this video is not a narcissist and he is not aware of the ways in which this information can be used for evil.
He even mentions that he feels that mirroring can only be used in situations that end up with an equal exchange of goodness. I am sure he uses it this way and that is also his intention in teaching it.
I would recommend learning more about these techniques if you feel they would be valuable to you. There are more great videos that he has and you can also learn about NLP from NLP planet.com.
But that being said, the main reason I want you, as a person that has been lured in by a narcissist or a psychopath, to watch this video, is so that you can understand what mirroring is. This is one of the tools in the bag of the narcissist.
This is one of the main tools they use during the idealization phase.
They will do physiological mirroring if they are in front of you, and they will do other kinds of mirroring over the phone, or even over google chat or email. As you watch this video, you will learn about how tonality, word choices, phrases and other behaviors of the person can be matched.
I want you to be aware that these techniques have a powerful psychological effect on a person that has no idea they are being mirrored.
How does the narcissist . psychopath know these things?
I don’t know for sure. I think that different people are different.
I have seen blogs and sites that actually cater to men who want to learn how to manipulate people. You could look up “how to be a narcissist” or “how to be Machiavellian” or “machiavellian techniques” and things like that. I have seen some very scary sites and one of them is on WordPress.
These sites are lead by psychopaths and narcissists in order to train others on how to use manipulation to get ahead in the business, to manipulate women etc.
If any men are reading this, I am not negating any experience you have had with a female narcissist. I am we aware they are out there. In fact I am currently in an abusive situation with one myself, which I am trying to work my way out of.
However, as far as web sites that teach narcissism, I have only seen ones that are run by men ad cater to men. The conversations are very demeaning to women and they often refer to women as either predators that have to be shut down, or as stupid and weak.
Mirroring techniques, however can be used equally well by females or males. All narcissists and psychopaths either have an innate ability for this, or they learned it as they went along, or they studied it.
These techniques could be learned as someone was focused on figuring out how to lure people into their net and how to get people to trust them. Narcissists need to be able to establish rapport with other people, in order to be seen as charming and appealing.
Since they have no empathy, narcissists have to appear to have empathy.
They watch other people and learn how they move, how they sound, and what they say, when they are experiencing different emotions. The narcissist observes people and learns to copy what to say and how to express emotions that they do not have.
This is how the narcissists are able to fit in and seem like they have the same emotions that other people have about the same things.
For example, let’s say you were sitting in a bar and a news story about a house fire came on the tv.
People watching the news report would normally have some feelings of sorrow and compassion for the family who lost their children, their pets, or their belongings in the fire. The narcissist cannot just sit there in the bar and make fun of the other people for being compassionate.
No, they have to act like the other people are acting. So when they are in situations like this, they watch the other what the other people do. They mirror them, so as to seem just like everyone else. This is why it is hard to spot a psychopath, unless you are really trained to do it. Even then, it may take time to recognize them.
It is a basic concept in any opponent sports or even in war, that you are better off of you know the tactics of your opponent.
If there are people out there that tend to target your type of personality, then you need to be aware of the tactics and techniques they use.
So watch this video to learn about mirroring. At least for the purposes of knowing how these mirroring techniques work and why. It will make you less likely to get drawn in by them. Do not assume that just because someone seems to be like you, when you are first dating them, that they are just like you.
Make sure that your map of reality includes people that just pretend to have the same values and feelings that you have.
There are people that truly do share your values and beliefs. There are also people who will pretend to share similarities with you, in order to lure you into their web.
Let me say again that the intentions of this video were to help people and to teach NLP techniques. I do not think this is a narcissist training video. But all good things tend to be able to be used for evil. Narcissists take things and twist them around and use them for malicious intent.
Personally I find NLP to be helpful in many ways and it can used with very good intentions. I am only sharing this video with you because it does such a great job of explaining what mirroring is and what the psychological effect of mirroring can be.
Narcissists use mirroring to lure in their victim and then they change from the idealization phase to the devaluation phase. This is the design of the narcissist. This bait and switch has nothing to do with NLP. It has to do with the narcissist.