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Hoovering Techniques of the Narcissist


Depression And ‘Playing It Safe’

Silver Girl

There comes a point after healing our emotional and spiritual scars that we need to address external fears. The fears that are holding us from fulfilling lives..

Do you remember theĀ last time you actively pushed through fear? The butterflies, the sick feeling, the nerves, the anxiety, the trembling, the hyperventilating, the panic ..

Some people believe butterflies and nerves are healthy and a sign youā€™re on the right path.. Ā (Iā€™m not sure about hyperventilating and panic though, they may be a sign to be gentle on yourself and that you have more work to do before jumping head in ..)

Thereā€™s a quote ā€˜Do one thing everyday that scares youā€™ by Eleanor Roosevelt.

Are you scared of driving on the open road ā€“ so never take road trips. Are you scared of public speaking so avoid it like the plague? Are you lonely, but too afraid of meeting and trustingā€¦

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No contact – staying away from an abuser

GFV Woman

After initially allowing contact at the end of an abusive relationship and suffering the emotional consequences of letting my narcissistic abuser back in to my life, this time I went ā€œNo contactā€. I blocked email and phone contact, I changed locks (again) and I wrote myself reminders of why no contact was so important to my wellbeing. I needed to reclaim my life after over two years of emotional and physical abuse. I needed this to recover. It has been so good for me.

It has not all been smooth sailing as I still get attempted contact from the abuser but I feel so much stronger in myself, more confident, when I do not respond. I actually feel free of the manipulation and control. I feel like I have my life back. I have no idea if he ever sent text messages or emails as I still have them blockedā€¦

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“A kiss holds a million deceits”…

Eye Will Not Cry



No one quite gets herā€¦
No one really understandsā€¦

Just a little lost ladyā€¦
Reaching out her handsā€¦

Looking for somethingā€¦
And someone to holdā€¦

No payback for her braveryā€¦
No reward for being boldā€¦

She wants to be lovedā€¦
But they only see her pastā€¦

The scars and the damageā€¦
Too much history amassedā€¦

As time and time againā€¦
Theyā€™ve treated her like dirtā€¦

Sheā€™s chosen the menā€¦
Theyā€™ve repaid her with hurtā€¦

Not seeing the loveā€¦
She could offer to themā€¦

And one by oneā€¦
Theyā€™ve slowly condemnedā€¦

This beautiful creatureā€¦
To a life in the shadowsā€¦

Fighting a darknessā€¦
That only she knowsā€¦

And now she sits quietlyā€¦
Waiting for the phoneā€¦

Fighting ghosts of her pastā€¦
And fighting them aloneā€¦

Desperate for someoneā€¦
To give her a signā€¦

To gently whisper to herā€¦
That itā€™ll all work out fineā€¦

And her prince will comeā€¦

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