A Lily in the Valley- A Story of Abuse and Purpose- Chapter 5: I Can Fix This

prayer & practice

“I can fix this”, I thought. No more arguments or fights, just a man and woman in love, building a life together.

I thought that“if I just watch what I say and when I say it, then we’ll be alright; just don’t say anything that will piss him off!” I walked around like this for a while; trying to be nice and look pretty all the time.

After a while, I got tired. I got tired of trying to get along; constantly make these futile efforts to make him happy. And what the hell was I doing wrong anyway! I went to school, I went to work, visited my mom and dad, and went home.  No friends, no parties, no fun, nothing without him being right there next to me.  Why was I the one making all the efforts to keep the peace, why wasn’t he trying to make…

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5 thoughts on “A Lily in the Valley- A Story of Abuse and Purpose- Chapter 5: I Can Fix This”

    1. It is painful for me to read these kinds of posts, The worst ones for me to read are the ones by women who are still trying to make it work. I hear them say that the problem is with them….the abuse.

      I was talking to someone from wordpress recently who I remember being supportive of when she was going through abuse. She got out and began to get her self esteem back.

      Now he has called her and said he is sorry and things will be better if she takes him back. I tried to warn her…..

      In the same breath this guy “explained” to her that she was really the one with the problem and he convinced her that she is the one with the problem and has to work on “getting over it” about the past abuse.

      it is painful to watch …it is like watching someone walking into the street right in front of a bus…and they are not able to hear you when you warn them that they are going to get run over.

      I told her I was here of anything happened and she needed to talk. You and I both know that this will end up with the honeymoon phase ending and then he will be worse than before. Abuse always escalates,The second round is worse…

      Prayers are with her…..

      Liked by 1 person

    2. The desire to be loved can blind people to the truth. The first real awakening is painful so it is understandable why people put it off. We will pray for her safety. Some people get out and others never get out alive,

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Well said Annie. She needs to realize she is already loved, safely, unconditionally, in a way that he can’t offer, ever. Then she needs to love herself the same way. Hopefully, she will end the dance of insanity with him and start her journey home to herself soon, does she read your blog? xo


  1. She’s not ready to surrender yet. She has not learned her lesson, time for “summer school.” It is sad but if she is still asleep, all we can do is pray something will awaken her, that nobody deserves to be abused, no matter what they say or do. Everyone has the free will to walk away, peacefully.

    Liked by 1 person

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