One of the worst brainwashing suggestions that scapegoats receive is that they are not loved…not even liked. Not only does the family treat you like a defective appliance, they also lead you to believe that no one could ever love you.
They have techniques and mothodology to program your brain into believing you are unlovable and unlikable. None of it is true, but if you have experienced hardcore mobbing and scapegoating, you know how it feels to wonder why no one loves you.
The narcissist and their followers will systematically break you down. They make you doubt your identity and the person you want to see yourself as. They violate your perception of yourself, and make you feel like you deserve to be left out…not just by them….but by everyone.
This isolation can be devastating.
Please know that the narcissists methods are cruel and unusual punishment, which you do not deserve. They targeted you for mobbing because they needed everyone to share their narrative of reality. The narcissist needed someone to blame for all the chaos and damage they caused.
They intentionally isolate you from having friends and other family who love you. They drove away anyone who might mirror your true self back to you. Instead, they lied and told you that you are defective.
This abuse is so painful that is can lead to chronic anxiety and depression. In fact nearly everyone I have ever met with bipolar disorder was exposed to some kind of abuse by a narcissistic, abusive family member.
As the scapegoat, you were the one everyone pointed their fingers at to blame for everything. When you tried to stand up to the abuse, they found a twisted way to make you think that it was your fault. That there was something about you that made them have to treat you they way they did.
If you are an adult now, and ended up with an abuser, or in a family of abusive in-laws, they are just continuing the same dark patterns that all abusers engage it.
Even when you begin to see abuse as abuse, and learn about narcissism, the self doubt still exists. It can be like a pervasive darkness.
Reach out to others who will validate your truth. Find people who can accept and love you for the person you really are. Get away from that twisted picture that your abusers hung on their wall and pointed to as you.
Abuse is abuse. You never did, nor do you now, deserve to be manipulated, mobbed or scapegoated.
You are a special, unique soul with compassion, and special gifts to share with others who deserve your time and your love.