Living Conditions of Narcissistic Abuse Victims

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Many cases of narcissistic abuse end up in the financial devastation of the victim. But long before the end of the relationship, the victim is living fat below what is humane and normal.

Because the narcissist does not see you as an individual human being with rights and boundaries, your living conditions are of no concern to them.

Basic needs for healthcare, spending cash, healthy environment, and safe living environment are often refused by the narcissist. The victim lives behind closed doors is despicable, inhumane conditions, that they are too embarrassed and ashamed to speak of outside of the home.

Even after the relationship has ended, and the victim begins to interact with other victims, this is a dark secret that is kept hidden. There is extreme shame about having to live in sub-human conditions and it is even hard to explain.

Since the victim is so used to being doubted and gaslighted, this secret is never talked about for fear of re-traumatization. The victim just cannot take any more minimization or disbelief of their reality.

They also cannot tolerate any more shaming than they have already endured from the narcissist, and from others who disbelieved any parts of their truth.

This post is just to let you know that other victims have also lived in sub-human conditions at the hands of a narcissist. It may be one of the most powerful ways the narcissist controls you.

When you are suffering just to exist, there is no energy for anything else. Your self esteem is completely crushed and you fear letting anyone into your home to see how you live.

This has the effect of completely isolating you from potential helpers, friends and anyone who might try to bring any light of truth into the dark reality tunnel the narcissist makes you exist in.

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13 responses »

  1. Omg. So true. Before my narc husband ran off, we were living in near-squalor. He refused to work for almost two years before discarding the relationship. All debts were in collections and we even had NO ELECTRICITY! He left the kids and I in a home with no electricity, and a car that he had run into the ground, while he told his mom that it was MY FAULT because I “didn’t LET home work”. Thought in truth I would beg him daily to get up and go find a job. Totally disgusting.

    Thanks for the post

    Like

    • I lived in a house with no oil in the heater…so no heat…with 2 kids and their father not giving me money for the oil….for 3 months in the middle of the winter….
      I am so sorry you had to experience this kind of thing too. Even though you know the man should have stepped up….and that you were doing everything in your power to do….there is still a Toxic Shame that you carry, especially if you had to watch your children suffer.

      Letting go of the toxic shame is difficult. I am working on some audios for healing this. I will post something as soon as I have them ready….probably at soundcloud or possibly Box.com.

      I am workinh through some technical difgiculties with soundcloud.

      Blessings for love, light, and peace of mind,
      Namaste,
      Annie πŸŒ·πŸŒ·πŸ‘―πŸŒΊπŸ™…πŸŒΉπŸ’πŸŒΈπŸ™‹

      Liked by 1 person

      • Thank you for the validation. It was terrible. He actually convinced his mother that it was ME who was responsible for him not working, and so she helped him “escape” from us. Left us with nothing, while his Mommy bought him a whole new life with which to seduce his next prey and forget that he left a family in absolute ruin.

        But, honestly, I’m OK with this…as long as he’s all hopped up on his high of being a victim and finding new supply, he is staying the hell away from my kids…and that is what matters most. So there is a silver lining-

        Keep sharing!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. After watching the video when you brought up the fact that there was more. Meaning at least for mw growing up and through my life I see the abuse/devalue but what is the most cruel thing that I really think is true and I do not want to believe is that it is scripted and real actions planned to purposely hurt me and mess with my reality. That is sick!!!!

    Like

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