Your brokenness after narcissistic abuse is not a reflection of any weakness in you. You saw darkness up close and such a level of darkness is contrary to your nature.
The narcissist intentionally mislead you about who they are, just to exploit you. They shared tender moments with you and caused you to be vulnerable in front of them.
They pretended to be vulnerable with you. They made up stories and lies to get your sympathy and attention. They did all of this to drink your soul.
Any compassionate person that tries to bring light into another person’s life, and then finds out that the person they fell in love with was a lie, would experience a period of brokenness.
The narcissist causes victims a soul sickness, by extracting emotions from you, by methods you did not consent to.
You are going to feel broken for a period of time. Then you will begin to feel better….Then a new realization will come upon you about the narcissist that you had not considered…and you will feel like a weight has dropped upon your chest again.
You may come up and down several times, as the “red pills” keep coming and choking your throat. But you will be walking ever forward on your path to greater strength and greater clarity.
Narcissistic abuse is extreme suffering, but it will revitalize you as you learn greater ways of self love. You will learn to assert boundaries and you will learn to pay careful attention to how people communicate with you.
Victims will end up better off thsn their abuser will end up. You will realize over time that you have power over your reality. ..while the narcissist will always be ruled and controlled by their reality.
You are not alone. Keep your loving heart alive. There are people worth sharing it with. Now you will be able to gain the tools to differentiate between narcisdistic psychopaths and people with their own inner light…which the narcissist lacks.