As an advocate against victim shaming, I see very clearly the word ‘victim’ – when related to abuse, is seen by many to be ‘shameful’.
Even the phrase ‘don’t be a victim’ – perpetuated in the mental health/illness field – is shaming victims. Psychologists, counsellors etc – all too often shame victims and buy into this victim shaming damage, due to not having the insight and empathy, to see the damage it causes.
Victims of abuse, perpetuate this shaming. Demanding they are not victims, they are survivors, or some other phrase. The reality is – we are victims, and the consequences of being a victim, continue on long past the actual abusive event(s).
To demand the term ‘victim’ is not used or applied, is shaming in itself.
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