Monthly Archives: February 2016

Adult Children of Narcissistic Parents

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GentleKindness

Parents with narcissistic personality disorder never think of their adult children as adults. There is no respect for boundaries or your right to make your own decisions.

While other parents guide their children to become independent adults, narcissistic parents attempt to condition their children to serve their agenda.

Whether you are the golden child or the scapegoat is dependent on a variety of factors. Usually one child is chosen to be the golden child. If they comply with the wishes of the narcissistic parent, then they will probably retain that role. Otherwise they are in danger of being knocked off of the pedestal.

The scapegoat child is often the one that insisted on being authentic and questioned or exposed the methods of the narcissistic parent. Other times the scapegoated child just got that role because there was already a golden child in place.

The narcissistic parent projects the qualities of…

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Out-Manipulating the Manipulator

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Soul Healing Art

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I have been trying to change my life. I thought I would pass along some of the things I mentally keep within me- my bag of tricks if you will- to lessen the impact of those who are less than kind in my life.

How To Out-Manipulate Manipulators
**

1. Ignore the Manipulator’s Feelings
This definitely goes against most of our natures. When we see someone upset (and God forbid if we feel we have a hand in upsetting someone), we immediately want to make things better. But with manipulators, you can NOT do this. Manipulators are used to everyone responding to their rage, tears, sense of injustice, and constant victimization.

Stop it. Stop worrying about how they feel. When you care about their feelings, you end up on their hook. If you need to interact with a manipulator, say your peace and then MOVE ON. You don’t need to…

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What’s Really Happening with Pain and Suffering, Part 2

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Science of Being

Recognizing the Driving Force and Root of Suffering

We suffer from accidents, social inadequacies and personal problems. We contract deadly diseases, get involved in addictive drugs, criminal activities and self-righteous wars. And when one of us suffers all of us suffer to a degree. But, if we can gain some deep insight as to why we suffer then perhaps we can change the way we relate to suffering and begin to harmonize ourselves.

 humanity and suffering

Fear of the Unknown
We do not know what is around the corner for us and that uncertainty can scare us.  Most of us still cling to our precognition that we want to know the unknown future especially when we face a challenging situation.

Wanting to know can keep us in perpetual wanting, mentally living in the future rather than now. We tend to cling to the idea that we should know the unknown, thus we…

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Another Red Flag of a Psychopath

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Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse

image chef beware
Beware of someone who tells you about how their friends or coworker say nice things about them, as a way to tell you how great they are. But then you never actually meet these people.
You may never meet these friends, employees or coworkers. Or you may eventually you find out that these people actually cannot stand them. You may find out that employees fear them, their family members avoid them, or that their “best friend” has been trying not to talk to them and the narcissist keeps harassing them. 
 
This is one of the ways the narcissist promotes themselves… by telling you what other people say about them. It is more believable for them to tell you what other people say, than telling you how great they are themselves.  So they make up things and say that other people say them.
They keep parts of their lives, and…

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Psychopath

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 Charmed by his intelligence

Lured by the vulnerability

like a mother bear to a lost cub

What else could I do?

What other choice could I consider?

Couldn’t just leave him that way

all torn and bleeding

from the abuse and cruelty

in his past…

He needed to be saved…

Didn’t he?

He seemed to know what I was feeling

Like he knew me from another life

He understood me so well

Listened to me with a distant empathy

Heard every story,  felt every pain

I opened everything up to him

Spilled out all my fears,

All my hopes, all my dreams

He listened to my weaknesses and said

Never you mind,

Better to accept them and

get them out in the open

You’ve been holding them too long

He made careful notes as he listened

My triggers, and my trauma

Kept mental notes on every fine detail

What would you think?

What would you assume?

It was true love’s patient virtue?

This was a confidant to be trusted?

With my life…

With my mind

With my sanity

Let me shed some light…

on the darkness

There are some people

that hunt for strangers…

Strangers that are sheep

full of passion,  kindness

empathy, and lonliness

There are predators hunting now

as I write these very words

for you to heed somehow…

like your life depends on them

So you shall not bleed

From deep spiritual wounding

and psychological breaking…

My warning is true

Watch your step …unlike me

Keep your passion

tempered with ration

Yes, I will say it

Stay a virgin from

the psychopathic monster

He might be stalking you

Watching you right now…

Be warned and I tell you true

Once you have crossed

There is no going back

You can escape

by removing yourself…

removing  your body

from the crime

but how can you remove

the experience

of darkness

from your mind?

**an older poem of mine from last year

Trust After Abuse

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Annie's Poetry

Trusting again after being deceived

Exploited, abused and psychologically tormented

Can be frightening thing to do

You do not trust your own judgement

You question your own perceptions

You wonder if they are all the same

Humanity and it’s benevolence

Comes to be questioned

It takes time but you can

Begin to trust yourself again

Even after having been

Taken in by someone

Who was not at all what they seemed

You have come out of it stronger

Beaten and bruised

Emotionally scarred and hurt

But life is like a roller coaster

You can keep going forward

And it will go up again

There really are good people

Who will appreciate you sincerely

And they are looking for

Someone to trust

Someone who is authentic

Someone like you

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Psychopathic Behavior Being Encouraged and Taught

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GentleKindness

I just came across a blog on another site which calls for people to train to be a psychopath. There are other sites like this, as if it is cool…or the best way to get ahead in the world. Some sites are very violent, and others teach more covert , Machiavellian tactics.

The site I accidentally came across has the following tag line ….

“Be a psychopath. It is better than no path at all.”

There are pictures posted on the blog I saw, and other like it, of bruised women. Images of men’s hands choking women around the neck. Other images on these kinds of sites show violent sex, which show women going along with degrading, dangerous sex acts. Other pictures show women being dominated against their will.

It is bad enough that we have 1 out of 25 people that are exploitative, psychopathic , pathological liars and deceivers…

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