Uncategorized

Ten Messages About Self Care and Self Love

GentleKindness

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image from Pinterest  HERE

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1. Self care and kindness.

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2. It is okay to need things.

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3. You deserve to have things that you want, just like everyone else does.

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4. It is not selfish to prioritize your emotional and mental health, over what other people want.

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5. You are not “the only” person who can help someone, no matter what tell you. With the exception of your children under your cate, other people can and will find someone else to help them if you need to tell them NO.

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6. It is okay to tell people NO, if you do not want to do something. Notice how many times they have helped you or not helped you. Some people always take from others and never give. Save your energies for someone who will really appreciate you.

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image from Pinterest HERE

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abuse, abusive relationships, aftermath of abuse, anti-social personality disorder, healing from narcissistic abuse, narcissism, narcissist, narcissistic abuse, Uncategorized

Can you Warn the New Victim of Your Narcissist?

Just because we point out the hole someone is about to fall into, does not mean we are being cruel to the person who dug the hole.

We are just trying to keep the person from falling in, because we recognize the hunter who is patiently watching them….and waiting for that person to fall into their carefully crafted trap. 

When the prey sees the hunter through the rose colored glasses he gave them, they think we are demonizing the hunter. 

They are under the spell of the narcissist. The narcissist usually anticipates that their discarded victim will try to warn other about them. Always 5 steps ahead of you, the narcissist has already gotten to the people you might warn, before you ever think of telling them the truth. 

You have most likely already been discredited by your abuser, with lies about your anger disorder, your mental instability and your desire to be vindictive. It does not have to be the truth for the new victim to believe it. It simply has to come out of the mouth of the narcissist that they are now under the spell of. 

You have little to no chance to convince the new victim to believe you about the nature of the abuser. It is just the same as when you were first under the spell of the predator yourself.

You probably would not have believed an emotional ex girlfriend who they had already told you was abusive to them. They will think you are either trying to get the narcissist back for yourself, or that you want to break them up to prevent their happiness.