Are you in a relationship with a toxic person ?
Well, if you found your way to this post, that is the first indicator.
If you are wondering what is wrong with this person, because they just seem off and you can feel that some kind of deception is going on, then you are probably right.
There are certain kinds of behaviors that ring the alarm bells in your mind. Your subconscious is there to protect you from harm. It sends signals to your nervous system to warn you of threat and possible danger.
Ignoring those feelings in your gut, is not a good idea. But you are not ignoring them. You are searching for answers.
A personality disordered person is toxic. That means thet are like a poison that will slowly make you sick, and then sicker, one drop at a time.
The sooner you get away from them, the less ling term damage they will do.
Although, do not confront a disordered person with facts and demand that they address them with you.
And most importantly, do not give them ultimatums or make them feel that you are threatening to leave them.
Do not threaten to expose them for what they are either.
These are things that can trigger their narcissistic rage, and this person may become violent, even if you have never seen violence from them yet.
Or if you have experienced some level of physical aggression from them, if they feel you are threatening them with leaving or exposing them, they may become more violent than you imagine they would.
So, leave but leave with great care. There is a quote from Alan Watts, the philosopher, that goes ,
” If you are going to try to trick the devil, it’s terribly important that you don’t give him prior notice.”
Live and breath by those words, when you are dealing with narcissists, a psychopath or a sociopath.
Which kind of disordered person are you with?
It doesn’t ultimately matter.
If they are deceptive, dishonest, have no conscience , no empathy, are manipulative exploit others for their own gain, and gaslight you, then you need to disengage safely from them.
They are con artists, and liars. These people intentionally hide who and what they really are. They keep their dark heaet under wraps, because they know you would have run right away, had you seen them for who they are inside.
So they mirror you, your persnskoty qualities, your interests, and your life goals and values. They play that they are a great match for you.
They can quickly convince you that they are your soul mate.
You will find that your life and your schedule quickly becomes changed, to revolving around the person.
You will feel obligated to acommodate them and their needs twenty four hours a day, 7 days a weak.
You will feel like the queen of the narcissist’s world for a period of time. You gladly give up things you normally do, or would rather do, in order to be available for the narcissist.
You might find that you are becoming sleep deprived. It won’t seem like the person is intentionally sleep depriving you, but they are.
You will find that your schedule is no longe4 fully in your control, even down to little details.
You might notice that you are questioning your own beliefs and your perception of people in your life.
Your way of seeing reality, and processing information is slowly being turned over to the partner.
You have a creepy, uneasy feelimg in your gut, that something isn’t right, but you can’t put your finger on it.
Mutual peoole that you and the narcissist knows, begin to agree with the narcissist over you. You might feel ganged up against by the narcissist and his family or his friends.
It might be people you see in person, or he might relay the opinions of these other people to you.
Your own people, that the narcissist did not know before he met you, may creepily begin to side with the narcissist about you and your “problematic behavior.”
People begin to treat you and talk to you with less respect, and point out your bad behavior towards the narcissist , since they are “such a great guy or gal”.
The narcissist begins to imply that you have mental
health problems, or issues seeing reality and remembering facts correctly.
This is How they take control over your confidence in your ability to see and perceive things properly.
Others may join in about your “difficult behavior” , your “abuse of the narcissist” or your “emotional imbalance.”
The predator is now trying to create mental issues within you . They are trying to cause you to question your ability to know how mentally balanced you are, and what is normal vs. what is abnormal
They know that you will recognize their behavior as abnormal, because they know that they cannot maintain their normal facade forever.
But if they attack the core of your mind, and make you question your ability to know what normal is….then they can gaslight you and make you wonder if maybe the problem is with you and not them.
The longer you are exposed to the gaslighting, sleep deprivation, and abuse, the deeper into your head they will get.
And you do not want them in your head.
You have begun to question the behavior of the narcissist. As you continue to learn by reading and watching my youtube videos, you will find that there are more “light bulb ” moments to come.
This is a process. It takes time. You have to untangle your mind and trust your instincts about people.
Love and light on your journey !