I am a survivor of domestic abuse and narcissistic abuse. I had more than one abuser. I lived with some of them and dated one of them without ever moving in together.
The last one, which I dated was a narcissist , comorbid with borderline and anti-social personality. He is the one that injured me mentally the most. I did not realize anything about him being an abuser until I was discarded.
After the relationship with a narcissist ends, we go back over the relationship and realize that there were many red flags all along. Even at the beginning of the relationship, there were red flags.
One of my abusers struck me in the chin, jaw area and did permanent damage to my cervical spine. I still have pain from this, There is one herniated disc that pinches a nerve and sends pain all the way down my arm, into my right hand.
I have come to realize that there were personality traits that I had, that were drawing abusive personalities to me. My last abuser, even said that to me once. Also there are learned behaviors that we have.
I was talking to him about my past abuse from men. Instead of being sympathetic, like I expected he would be, he said that I did things to draw abusers and hold them next to me.
Little did I know that he was talking about himself, and he knew he was using and abusing me. He knew what personality traits that narcissists look for, He found those traits and learned behaviors in me.
I have since done a lot of research about narcissism and narcissistic abuse. I wish to pass on what I have learned in order to validate and help other people who have been abused or are being abused.
I still struggle with the aftermath of abuse, including the financial devastation and the impact on my children.
Thank you for reading my blog. Please reach out here and connect with others and myself.