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Psychopaths in Society

This is a great interview with Thomas Sheridan about psychopaths in society. He taks about how psychopaths target empaths, because compassionate, empathic people will feel sorry for them, when they tell you that initial sob story. They will tell you a story that they either make up, or exaggerate about how abused they have been , or some trauma in their life. 

Then they will judge your reaction. They know how an empath will react to a story like that, and they evaluate their prey in this way.

They suck the energy and life force of empaths, in addition to manipulating you in order to get things from you. 

He also discusses how psychopaths are parasites. They need to attach to enablers, codependents, and empaths, in order to feed off of your energy. They are sadistic and get pleasure from creating chaos and trauma in your life. 

He also talks about the red flags to identify a psychopath. He talks about word salad and other language techniques. The are charming and mirror the qualities you want and the your core values. They want to jump into a relationship with a partner very fast, so that there is no time for the victim to recognize who they are. 

He explains the way they use different masks, and they do not take any responsibility for things they did when they were using another mask. They never admit guilt for anything they do.

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Contempt is Your Mistress

I am so tired
My brain is in shock
I can no longer arrange
The thoughts in my mind

My head aches from trying
And thinking so hard
To straighten the pieces
Back into their function

The pieces that are sharp
The pieces that are scalding
The edges that cut like blades
The fragments that shatter bones

My mind is shattered
And disconnected
My body is poisoned
Almost into seizure

My thoughts – explosions
Of anger and pain
My feelings – shock waves
From shaming and blame

Sensations of fire
Sensations of death
Sensations of freezing
Delusions of rest

You’ve stolen my truth
For your own empowerment
You bloodied my faith
To prove your sick point

You forced me to hate you
You forced me to lie
You opened strange poisons
And forced me to try

Your mind is so twisted
With anger and hate
You’ve made me the same
In part of my brain

You felt so compelled
To damage and crush me
Contempt is your mistress
She slept in my bed

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Another Red Flag of a Psychopath

 

image chef beware
Beware of someone who tells you about how their friends or coworker say nice things about them, as a way to tell you how great they are. But then you never actually meet these people.
You may never meet these friends, employees or coworkers. Or you may eventually you find out that these people actually cannot stand them. You may find out that employees fear them, their family members avoid them, or that their “best friend” has been trying not to talk to them and the narcissist keeps harassing them. 
 
This is one of the ways the narcissist promotes themselves… by telling you what other people say about them. It is more believable for them to tell you what other people say, than telling you how great they are themselves.  So they make up things and say that other people say them.
They keep parts of their lives, and people separated so that they can lie about what other people say. They use this to impress you with what other supposedly say about them. They also use this to tell you that others abused them. 
So, just be careful about someone who does a lot of talking about themselves by way of telling you what other people think about them. It can be a red flag. See what happens when you ask to meet these people and if the relationships seem to match what they told you.

Originally posted on the facebook page for gentlekindnesscoaching.com

https://www.facebook.com/gentlekindnesscoaching/

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Darkness After Narcissistic Abuse

Your brokenness after narcissistic abuse is not a reflection of any weakness in you. You saw darkness up close and such a level of darkness is contrary to your nature.

The narcissist intentionally mislead you about who they are, just to exploit you. They shared tender moments with you and caused you to be vulnerable in front of them.

They pretended to be vulnerable with you. They made up stories and lies to get your sympathy and attention. They did all of this to drink your soul.

Any compassionate person that tries to bring light into another person’s life, and then finds out that the person they fell in love with was a lie, would experience a period of brokenness.

The narcissist causes victims a soul sickness, by extracting emotions from you, by methods you did not consent to.

You are going to feel broken for a period of time. Then you will begin to feel better….Then a new realization will come upon you about the narcissist that you had not considered…and you will feel like a weight has dropped upon your chest again.

You may come up and down several times, as the “red pills” keep coming and choking your throat. But you will be walking ever forward on your path to greater strength and greater clarity.

Narcissistic abuse is extreme suffering, but it will revitalize you as you learn greater ways of self love. You will learn to assert boundaries and you will learn to pay careful attention to how people communicate with you.

Victims will end up better off thsn their abuser will end up. You will realize over time  that you have power over your reality. ..while the narcissist will always be ruled and controlled by their reality.

You are not alone. Keep your loving heart alive. There are people worth sharing it with. Now you will be able to gain the tools to differentiate between narcisdistic psychopaths and people with their own inner light…which the narcissist lacks.

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Devaluation Phase of Narcissistic Abuse Psychopath Partner

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Psychopaths and Narcissists in Society

This is a very good video about psychopaths in society. The thing that struck me about this movie is when they were interviewing people on the street about the word psychopath. 

The only thing that most people think about the word psychopath is “crazy”. Most people assume they would know if someone were a 
crazy psychopath” if they were to run into one. 

Every day people interact with psychopaths at work, in school. in the community and in their family and social settings. They do not recognize the psychopath, even when they are right in front of them, telling them that their suit is perfect and that they look phenomenal.

Psychopaths can be charming and complementary to anyone who that they feel would be of some use to them. People are pawns. tools and characters in the psychopath’s play, that write as they wish. 

Psychopath’s can seem like the “pillar of the community”  and like the ideal person with good manners and etiquette. These people learn how to act by watching people. They learn that people have certain facial expressions that go along with certain appropriate emotions.

They watch and mimic people, so that their behaviors do not stand out and set off red flags that would make people stay away from them.

The “psychopathic bond” is very powerful. This is trauma bonding or it might be stockholme syndrome. They psychopath is skilled in getting you to bond with them deeply.

 

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Trauma Bonding in Narcissistic Abuse

The emotional abuse dished out by a narcissist is malicious. intentional and insidious. The narcissists sizes up his victim from the beginning, to see if she is likely to tolerate his tactics.

During the sizing up period, the narcissist puts on a honeymoon phase act, also known as the idealization phase.

He puts his prey upon a pedestal and tells her she is beautiful, talented, compassionate, or whatever characteristics she desires for someone to admire. He reads her body language and asks lots of questions in order to ascertain which qualities he should complement her about.

The abuser gets into the mind of the victim and pries out lots of important information that he or she will later use against the victim. Valuable information is the victim’s desires, hopes and dreams.

What does the victim want in a perfect mate? What qualities do they find most important about themselves and in others?

But it does not stop there. The predator listens intently as the victim tells them about their childhood, their failures, and their deepest fears.

What buttons can the abuser push that will get the strongest emotional reaction? The unsuspecting victim willingly turns over this information to their enemy, without realizing that they are setting the abuser up for the evil yet to come.

The victim willingly gives the predator all of this information because they seem so trustworthy. They appear to be the perfect friend, partner and lover.

The predator has acting skills that are so honed that the victim never suspects that their entire personality is an act.

The abuser takes the information they gather about the core values of the victim and they mirror those values back to them.

When the prey sees the predator, they do not see a wolf in sheep’s clothing. They see someone who believes in them and shares their most important values and beliefs.

As the predator listens intently to the victim, it seems like he is interested in him or her in a way that no one has ever been.

The victim feels like they are finally being understood, in a way that no one has ever understood them before.

This is highly emotional. The conversations are emotionally charged and bring out the bonding chemicals in the victim’s system. Their entire nervous system in affected in a similar way to addiction to a drug.

There is often a high sexual attraction for the abuser, which is amplified by a feeling of trust. Emotional bonding is stronger when there is a high level of trust, and the predator knows how to make the victim feel completely safe with them.

This chemical bonding is both a science and an art to the predator.

They have honed their skills from many trials and errors from their past victims. Now it is Your turn to be the method of experiment. The more they can deceive and manipulate your mind, the more the predator becomes hooked on deceiving you.

The predator gets a sadistic pleasure from this process and feels godlike and all powerful, as they get inside of your head and you willingly hand over all the information they need to destroy you later on.

This idealization phase is enjoyed by the narcissist but it also drains them. They soon tire of all the effort it takes to please you and make you feel good.

They often do a test at this point. This is a test that they design to see if you are sufficiently bonded with them yet. They will often make up some kind of emergency just to see how you react and respond. They want to see you go out of your way, and inconvenience yourself for them.

This emergency is both a test and also a way of them to train you like a dog. They will reward you with praises for the parts you do “right” and they will scold you for anything they wanted done differently. They will imply that they may not be able to continue a relationship with someone  who cannot perform to their liking during an emergency they are having.

This emergency, or very urgent situation could be of any sort of nature. It might be a fake medical emergency, it could be a crisis with their business or an emotional / mental breakdown. They will demand your full attention and that you drop everything you are doing, no matter how important it is to you. In fact, they may time the emergency, intentionally, to happen at the same time as something important to you.

They want to see that you will prioritize them over yourself.

They know that most normal people will prioritize an emergency over most other things. It is normal to rearrange your schedule when someone you love has an emergency. This is how they lure you into their training.

Now that they have your attention, they hone your “emergency” skills. They nit-pick at everything you do and the things you do not do according to their rules. They teach you exactly how to respond and how fast to respond to them, when they call you for something urgent.

This way, they can continue to call on you and demand your undivided attention, anytime they cry wolf. Imagine that…the wolf crying wolf!

After that, there are more emergencies.

The narcissists seems to live a life of chaos and they always need you to be there. It begins to erode the rest of your life away. Your needs are never as important as theirs are. Whatever is happening with them is always much more urgent and important than what is going on in your life.

If you respond to the training properly, they know they have you bonded to them. Now they can begin to demean you and treat you any way they want to. Suddenly you are knocked off the pedestal and onto the floor, where they will drag you around wherever they want to.

The devaluation phase has begun.

You now will tolerate all manner of abuse and you will believe their lies because of your addiction to the abuser. The more they abuse you, the stronger the addiction becomes. This is trauma bonding.

The abuser alternates between periods of the love bombing stage (the idealization phase) with periods of abuse.

This is designed to confuse the victim and to increase levels of chemicals released in the body.

Cortisol and adrenaline are designed to be released during an emergency or when you are under a threat. The brain soon becomes confused as the frequent need to release these chemicals in alternated with periods of uncertainty.

Your brain learns that a threat could occur at any time and stays on alert for any threat. The abuser screaming at you, threatening you, and changing the rules as they choose, thrown your nervous system out of wack. You long for the periods of reprieve from the abuse.

There are days when the abuse is nice to you and this brings back those feelings from the idealization phase. You are reminded why you fell in love with them in the first place. You want to believe that the person you first met is still under there somewhere.

The brief interludes of the idealization phase, feel like love to you.

It seems like the abuser actually loves you, but that you seem to bring out the angry side of them a lot. If you could just “get it right” then they would return to the person you fell in love with.

The attachment grows stronger during emergency situations and struggles. You feel like you have “been though so much together” and it never occurs to you that it was all a strategy of the narcissist to hook you. It is all so that they can have power over you.

Power and manipulation is the game of the predator.

They know that by alternating the abuse with “being nice” that the trauma bond will keep you coming back for more. You give everything up for them just to keep them happy.

Make no mistake this is all intentional and calculated.

The predator loves to be in control over you. They love to play god because they see themselves as better than you are. You are nothing but another victim for them to scratch out another notch on their bedpost.