abuse, abusive men, abusive relationships, aftermath of abuse, aftermath of narcissistic abuse, anti-social personality disorder, dating a narcissist, dating an abusive guy, emotional abuse, gaslighting, healing after narcissistic abuse, healing from domestic abuse, healing from narcissistic abuse, malignant narcissistic personality disorder, mental abuse, narcissistic abuse, narcissistic psychopath, Narcissists, overcoming narcissistic abuse, Psychopath, PTSD from domestic abuse, red flags of a narcissist, Uncategorized, victim of narcissist, women abuse, women in history, women's history month, women's issues

Victim Blaming and Re-traumatizing Abuse Victims

Being in an intimate relationship with a psychpath awakens your reality to a darkness you never knew existed. You always knew that there were serial killers and rapists in the world, but you never knew they could be hidden behind a charming exterior.

You consented to being close to the person they presented themselves to be. But you never consented to being intimate with someone who carries darkness within them.

When you hear people say that you chose to be in a relationship with an abuser, it is confusing and re-traumatizing. They make their point by saying that you had free will and walked into the relationship with open eyes.

They do not understand the mind manipulatiin of a psychopath and how your reality was very different at the beginning of the relationship than it is now.

Not only do you have to come to terms with the cognitive dissonance of the two different realities…the person you thought you were sleeping with….and the person you were actually sleeping with……

You now have to listen to this other proposed reality that you went into the relationship with an abuser with open eyes and free choice.

Only two kinds of people would say this to you….Pathological narcissists….and very closed minded judgemental people who think they are better than you, because of course…it would never have happened to them!

The narcissists that post comments like this on the youtube blogs of survivors are sadistically gaslighting the victims. They are intentionally twisting your reality,  which they are fully aware has already been twisted by one of “their kind.”

Victim blaming is most often instigated by pathological narcissists. Other people may believe their lies because they are being manipulated by the narcissist. So the very people saying that no one can have their mind manipulated….are having their own minds manipulated….and their beliefs fed to them by a narcissist.

 

Advertisements
abuse, abuse red flags, abusive men, abusive relationships, aftermath of abuse, aftermath of narcissistic abuse, dating an abusive guy, devaluation, domestic abuse, domestic violence, gaslighting, healing after narcissistic abuse, healing from domestic abuse, narcissism, narcissist, Narcissist psychopath, narcissistic abuse, narcissistic psychopath, Narcissists, narcopath, overcoming narcissistic abuse, Psychopath, psychopathic abuse, Uncategorized, verbal abuse, women abuse, women in history, women's history month

Women’s History Month and Abuse Awareness

Just posted on Tumblr Narcissistic Abuse Blog

Abuse of Women and How it Has Influenced Women’s History

As part of women’s history month we have to realize the importance of domestic abuse, partner abuse and rape. The awareness of abuse of women needs to be highlighted. More awareness is needed.

Victim blaming and myths about abuse victims needs to be an important part of women’s history month. How many women have had their lives cut short due to a violent partner? 

How many women have been emotionally abused with gaslighting and intentional brainwashing tactics by a predator who targeted them? 

What great things might these women have accomplished, had they not been controlled and manipulated by an abusive partner?

How many potential contributions to human kind have been interfered with, by an abuser who crushed down the self esteem and undermined her ability to follow her dreams?

Awareness of mental, emotional and other kinds of abuse of women, needs to be addressed and light needs to be shed on how this has affected women’s history, and continues to do so. 

abuse, abusive relationships, aftermath of abuse, aftermath of narcissistic abuse, dating an abusive guy, domestic abuse, domestic abuse blog, domestic abuse meme, domestic violence, emotional abuse, gaslighting, healing from domestic abuse, healing from narcissistic abuse, mental abuse, narcissism, narcissist, PTSD from domestic abuse, PTSD from mental abuse, Uncategorized

Pinterest Mental Abuse Blog

Visit and follow my Mental Abuse Pinterest Blog

 

 the following images are from Pinterest

narcissist minimizingwoman in red

baiting

abuse, abusive relationships, dating a narcissist, dating an abusive guy, domestic abuse, emotional abuse, gaslighting, healing after narcissistic abuse, health and wellness, healthy relationships after domestic abuse, leaving an abuser, malignant narcissistic personality disorder, mental abuse, narcissism, narcissist, narcissistic psychopath, narcissistic victim abuse syndrome, overcoming narcissistic abuse, teen abusive relationships, Uncategorized, women abuse

Avoiding Abusive Relationships for Teens

When you are a teenager, or a preteen, you are learning about yourself and also learning about what kinds of people you like to be around. You are hopefully living a happy, healthy life, but I realize that many of you are not living a home life that is mentally healthy.

Some of you have supportive parents and others of you have abusive parents. Whether they abuse is physical, sexual or mental / emotional , any kind of  abuse will affect your judgement about selecting friends and boyfriends / girlfriends.

You have to know who you are. You are on a path of self discovery. As you learn about yourself, you also need to believe in yourself.

You are still developing your self esteem and your value system. You are still developing your personality and how you present yourself to the world. You are learning how to interact, how to attract others and what to do with them, once you attract them.

Here are some important things for you to remember, when you are dating.

1. You matter ! Your feelings and your thoughts matter.

2. Trust your feelings and your intuition. If you feel like something is wrong with w certain person, or a certain relationship, then listen to that intuition. It is there as an alert system for you.

3. Do not let others choose for you. People think they know who you are and who would be a good match for you, but they do not. You know what you want and need. NO one else can pick someone for you.

4. Do not choose someone, in accordance with  what the social group wants you to do. Not only will individual people want to “set you up” , but the social group itself may have rules about who you can and cannot date.  Be careful to think for yourself and not to let others think for you.

5. If you do not like being with someone, you never will. Do not try to force yourself to like a guy that you do not like, just so that you can have a boyfriend / or girlfriend. You are better on your own than with someone who you just do not like.  Do not think that you can Make yourself like them, by hanging out with them.

6. Relationships Should be Balanced. There should be give and take in relationships. It should not be one-sided, where one person gets their way all the time. One person should not be dominating over the other person.

7. No Abuse!  The No Abuse Rule Cannot be Broken. No one can abuse you for any reason that makes it okay. Abuse includes being physically rough with you. This includes talking you into sex that you do not feel comfortable with. 

Abuse is also any emotional or mental torment. If anyone is manipulative with you, by making you feel bad (guilty, shame, sad, scared) then that is abuse.

Abuse can be mental abuse, which could be trying to make you into someone you are not. Making you feel stupid, making you feel embarrassed in front of other people. Being nicer to your friends than to you. There are many mentally and emotionally abuse behaviors and you can read about them in some of my other posts.

8. Your Parents Can Not Choose for you.  Your parents may thing they know someone who would be a good match for you. Most guys will act a certain way in front of your parents, that does not allow your parents to see everything about them. There is not enough information that your parents can get from any girl or boy that you like, in order to know how they will treat you.

PLEASE NOTE – If you have good parents that are not abusive, they will be looking out for you. I did say that they cannot choose someone for you, however they can WARN YOU if someone seems to be abusive or a very bad match for you. When you have feelings for someone, it is easy to miss red flags, but your parents may pick up on them.

9. Communication is Very ImportantYou should be able to communicate with the person you are dating, You should be able to talk about your thoughts, opinions and your feelings.

If they shut you down, and do not care about your feelings, then you should move on and let them go.

If they always have to be right and do not want your opinions or thoughts about things, they are a potential abuser and you need to get out.

10. It is okay to be on your own. It is okay to not have a boyfriend or a girlfriend. You do not have to be with someone all the time, or at all. If you have recently come out of a break up, then it is good to wait a while before jumping into a new relationship. Your emotions need to heal before you will have a good perspective to make good choices.

It is ok to be on your own. You do not need to be with someone, in order to be cool. You do not need someone in order to be happy. In fact some people will make you miserable.

It is ok to be on your own, just because you want to. You have a  lot of things to do, with school, family and activities. Relationships take time and you may not have the time right now.

It is okay to be on your own. It is okay if no one has asked you out. There are always some girls who seem to get asked out all the time. You might be the one that no one seems interested in.

This is probably because you are a real person. You are not all fluff and puff. You have depth and intelligence. There will be someone that will really respect and love you for that. But the “click” people and the “popular”  crowds do not like independent thinkers.

Be yourself. Do Not Change to fit in. DO not change to get a guy. be yourself and the right guy will come along. You would not be happy with these superficial people anyway. You would be frustrated and bored.

You need someone with some depth and intelligence. You will have to wait patiently until that special person comes along, because there are not as many independent thinkers as there are “crowd pleasers”

Guess what? This guy is also wondering where you are ! He is somewhere with people that he does not fit in with. He is the one not getting asked out,  because he does not fit in with the group. They are waiting to meet you. 

dating a narcissist, dating an abusive guy, domestic abuse, domestic violence, emotional abuse, gentlekindness coaching, healing after narcissistic abuse, healing from domestic abuse, healing from narcissistic abuse, malignant narcissistic personality disorder, mental health, narcissism, narcissist, Narcissist psychopath, narcissistic abuse, narcissistic abuse syndrome, narcissistic psychopath, Narcissists, overcoming narcissistic abuse, post traumatic stress disorder from domestic abuse . mental abuse, Psychopath abusive relationship, psychopathic abuse, psychopaths, PTSD from domestic abuse, PTSD from mental abuse, Uncategorized, victim of narcissist, women abuse

Brain Fog / PTSD from Narcissistic Abuse / Domestic Abuse

abuse, abuse red flags, abusive relationships, dating a narcissist, dating an abusive guy, domestic abuse, domestic abuse blog, domestic violence, mental abuse, narcissism, narcissist, Narcissist psychopath, narcissistic abuse, narcissistic abuse syndrome, narcissistic psychopath, narcissistic victim abuse syndrome, Narcissists, narcopath, overcoming narcissistic abuse, post traumatic stress disorder, post traumatic stress disorder from domestic abuse . mental abuse, Psychopath, Psychopath abusive relationship, psychopathic abuse, PTSD from domestic abuse, PTSD from mental abuse, red flags of a narcissist, red flags of an abusive person, Uncategorized

YouTube Videos about Narcissistic abuse and Domestic Abuse

You stopped by this blog most likely because you have been in, or are still in an abusive relationship. Whether it is physical abuse, mental abuse, or emotional abuse, you are still going through a psychological trauma. 

Trauma has certain similar affects on the brain that are experienced by the victim. The symptoms can continue long after the relationship has ended. Whether it was abuse by a partner, or from your family, or even at work, narcissistic abuse leaves scars. 

Please visit my YouTube Channel for videos to help you to understand abuse, how to identify the red flags of abusers. and help with healing from narcissistic or psychopathic abuse. 

You can visit my YouTube Channel HERE

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJw1QUDzb59PbWTcnGjGJ7g/videos

abuse red flags, abusive men, abusive relationships, aftermath of abuse, aftermath of narcissistic abuse, dating an abusive guy, domestic abuse, narcissistic abuse, Narcissists, narcopath

Mirroring Techniques and Other Methods / Narcissistic Abuse Idealization Phase of the Narcissist

This is a video of a class taught by David Snyder. David Snyder teaches NLP hypnosis and also Dating and Attraction. He is also a martial arts teacher.

This video can be helpful to you in two ways. I want to explain to you how what he is teaching in this video can be used for good or for evil intentions.

These techniques are about mirroring the person, repeating back to them what they say, and drawing out conversation from them about their feelings and experiences. He gives you very good methods for doing these things and how to draw someone into talking to you about themselves.

People love talking about themselves with someone who they perceive cares about what they are saying. If you use these techniques with someone, you can get them to talk about themselves to you in many cases. Nothing is fool proof but I have tried these techniques and they are effective.

If you have social anxiety , PTSD, or trouble approaching someone and talking to someone you are interested in, then you will find value in what David Snyder teaches in this class. This is using it for good.

But on the other side of morality…these are the very kinds of techniques that the narcissist / psychopath uses to lure their prey. They mirror your words, phrases, and body language. They make you feel a connection with them this way.

They draw you into the conversation and get you to tell them all kinds of things about yourself very early into the relationship. Normally you probably would not tell someone the level of personal things that you ended up telling the narcissist.

Check this out so that you can recognize when someone is mirroring you, repeating words back to you etc. It does not mean that they are a narcissist. They might be a good person that is really interested in you.

If you recognize that someone is doing these techniques then turn things around and see if you can reverse the conversation. Become the one who is doing the mirroring , repeating words back and draw them out to tell you about themselves.

See what response you get once you begin to control the conversation. If they are really interested in you then they will be happy to fall into this with you. They will tell you about themselves and not press you about talking things that you do not want to talk about.

Be careful what you tell someone early in a relationship, especially if you just met them. Make sure you are volunteering information that you want to share at that time. If it feels too early then it probably is. Go with your intuition.