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Darkness After Narcissistic Abuse

Your brokenness after narcissistic abuse is not a reflection of any weakness in you. You saw darkness up close and such a level of darkness is contrary to your nature.

The narcissist intentionally mislead you about who they are, just to exploit you. They shared tender moments with you and caused you to be vulnerable in front of them.

They pretended to be vulnerable with you. They made up stories and lies to get your sympathy and attention. They did all of this to drink your soul.

Any compassionate person that tries to bring light into another person’s life, and then finds out that the person they fell in love with was a lie, would experience a period of brokenness.

The narcissist causes victims a soul sickness, by extracting emotions from you, by methods you did not consent to.

You are going to feel broken for a period of time. Then you will begin to feel better….Then a new realization will come upon you about the narcissist that you had not considered…and you will feel like a weight has dropped upon your chest again.

You may come up and down several times, as the “red pills” keep coming and choking your throat. But you will be walking ever forward on your path to greater strength and greater clarity.

Narcissistic abuse is extreme suffering, but it will revitalize you as you learn greater ways of self love. You will learn to assert boundaries and you will learn to pay careful attention to how people communicate with you.

Victims will end up better off thsn their abuser will end up. You will realize over time  that you have power over your reality. ..while the narcissist will always be ruled and controlled by their reality.

You are not alone. Keep your loving heart alive. There are people worth sharing it with. Now you will be able to gain the tools to differentiate between narcisdistic psychopaths and people with their own inner light…which the narcissist lacks.

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Narcissists Lie When They Tell You They are Co-Parenting with You

counter parent

image credit facebook / whisper

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Contempt is Your Mistress

Contempt is Your Mistress

I am so tired
My brain is in shock
I can no longer arrange
The thoughts in my mind

My head aches from trying
And thinking so hard
To straighten the pieces
Back into their function

The pieces that are sharp
The pieces that are scalding
The edges that cut like blades
The fragments that shatter bones

My mind is shattered
And disconnected
My body is poisoned
Almost into seizure

My thoughts – explosions
Of anger and pain
My feelings – shock waves
From shaming and blame

Sensations of fire
Sensations of death
Sensations of freezing
Delusions of rest

You’ve stolen my truth
For your own empowerment
You bloodied my faith
To prove your sick point

You forced me to hate you
You forced me to lie
You opened strange poisons
And forced me to try

Your mind is so twisted
With anger and hate
You’ve made me the same
In part of my brain

You felt so compelled
To damage and crush me
Contempt is your mistress
She slept in my bed

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Escalating Partner Abuse and Domestic Violence

Domestic abuse increases in intensity over time. There are certain red flags to look for that often predict future violence.

Please know that any kind of restriction of your movement or freedom of mobility is abuse. If your partner is angry and blocks the doorway so you cannot leave and you are afraid to pass them, this is abuse. This behavior often leads to holding, hitting and other physically abusive behaviors.

Someone holding your wrists to keep you from leaving, or holding your body so you can’t move, against your consent, to keep you from leaving the room, is physical abuse.

Your partner sitting on top of you to hold you down, in anger, is abuse. If they accidentally “bump into you” hard enough to injure you, or to threaten or frighten you, this is abuse.

Verbal threats of physical violence are abuse. Damaging your property and punching holes in the walls to frighten you, is abuse.

Swinging their fist or hand, near to your face or body, to frighten you, is abuse. Other behavior which is abusive is taking your keys, or hiding your keys so you cannot leave the house.

Anything designed to force you to stay when you want to leave is abusive. This includes hiding your car or disabling your car. Also interfering with your car payments such as by intercepting your mail or computer payment.

Threatening your children, and implying threats to your children is abuse, and often is a sign of more escalated violence to come.

Pregnancy often escalates abuse. Children living in the house that do not belong to the abuser, is a red flag to watch for physical abuse, if other signs mentioned above have occured.

You should not feel threatened or frightened by your partner. It is not normal.

You should not feel like you have to walk on egg shells not to anger your partner. Love is not controlling and manipulative.

If someone loves you they want you to feel safe. Someone who loves you will accept you for who you are, and not demand you change for them and comply with everything they want.

Abusers feel entitled. They think of you as something they own. They expect you to know what they want and how they want it. They sometimes will intentionally change the rules without telling you, just to see you “fail.”

If any of these things sound familiar, please begin to find a way out of the relationship. But be careful about how you leave them.

Confronting a control freak partner can lead to sudden violence that you may not expect. Contact a women’s shelter so that they can advise you about safe escape.

Blessings,

Annie

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Mobbing and Scapegoating

One of the worst brainwashing suggestions that scapegoats receive is that they are not loved…not even liked. Not only does the family treat you like a defective appliance, they also lead you to believe that no one could ever love you.

They have techniques and mothodology to program your brain into believing you are unlovable and unlikable. None of it is true, but if you have experienced hardcore mobbing and scapegoating, you know how it feels to wonder why no one loves you.

The narcissist and their followers will systematically break you down. They make you doubt your identity and the person you want to see yourself as. They violate your perception of yourself, and make you feel like you deserve to be left out…not just by them….but by everyone.

This isolation can be devastating.

Please know that the narcissists methods are cruel and unusual punishment, which you do not deserve. They targeted you for mobbing because they needed everyone to share their narrative of reality. The narcissist needed someone to blame for all the chaos and damage they caused.

They intentionally isolate you from having friends and other family who love you. They drove away anyone who might mirror your true self back to you. Instead, they lied and told you that you are defective.

This abuse is so painful that is can lead to chronic anxiety and depression. In fact nearly everyone I have ever met with bipolar disorder was exposed to some kind of abuse by a narcissistic, abusive family member.

As the scapegoat, you were the one everyone pointed their fingers at to blame for everything. When you tried to stand up to the abuse, they found a twisted way to make you think that it was your fault. That there was something about you that made them have to treat you they way they did.

If you are an adult now, and ended up with an abuser, or in a family of abusive in-laws, they are just continuing the same dark patterns that all abusers engage it.

Even when you begin to see abuse as abuse, and learn about narcissism, the self doubt still exists. It can be like a pervasive darkness.

Reach out to others who will validate your truth. Find people who can accept and love you for the person you really are. Get away from that twisted picture that your abusers hung on their wall and pointed to as you.

Abuse is abuse. You never did, nor do you now, deserve to be manipulated, mobbed or scapegoated.

You are a special, unique soul with compassion, and special gifts to share with others who deserve your time and your love.

Blessings,

Annie

anti-social personality disorder, dating a narcissist, domestic abuse, domestic violence, emotional abuse, gaslighting, healing from domestic abuse, healing from narcissistic abuse, malignant narcissistic personality disorder, narcissist, Narcissist psychopath, narcissistic abuse, narcissistic psychopath, narcissistic victim abuse syndrome, Narcissists, Psychopath, psychopathic abuse, PTSD from domestic abuse, Uncategorized

Lying Narcissists and Psychopaths

Narcissists and psychopaths lie. They lie as easily and fluidly as other people pour their coffee. They lie as often as other people say hello.

Lying is part of their day. Lying to confuse. Lying to manipulate. Lying to make you look crazy.

Lying is there number one tool. …like the serpent in the Garden of Eden. The more they lie, the better they get at it. And they lie hundreds of times in a week.

They lie when it would be easier to tell the truth and more risky to lie. They lie to cover up their lies. They lie looking you right in the eyes.

They lie when they say “I would never lie to you.”

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There is Light Beyond the Darkness of Mental Abuse

Narcissistic abuse is painful. You can experience such grief in the midst of being emotionally abused that you feel hopeless.

Depression and anxiety can overcome your heart, your mind and your soul. Healing from this extreme level of multi-layered pain takes time.

You are not alone. Living in sn abusive environment is like living in hell. Your reality can become twisted all around by the abuser, who does this intentionally. They get some sadistic pleasure from confusing you and stripping away your identity.

All kinds of symptoms can arise, even months after you are out of the abuse. The psychopath or narcissist wants you to still think about them after they are gone. It feeds their addiction to attention and grandiosity.

You feel small and insignificant…and like you are living under a heavy  weight that you can hardly move underneath of.

You can heal and regain your sense of self. Keep having faith in yourself and imagine the things you want out of life.

You were conditioned…probably from childhood…that what you want does not matter. But why do someone else’s dreams matter more than yours do?

Don’t give up. It gets darker before it gets lighter. There are moments of crushing darkness but the light is still out there waiting for you.

There are other victims who care and can help to lead you out. Talking to people who have not been through narcissistic abuse can retraumatize you. Try to find people who have been there and have gone through the darkness into the light.

Let tbe veil of illusion come down and let the light come in to heal your broken heart and wounded soul.

 

Blessings,

Annie👭🌺

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Psychopaths and Narcissists in Society

This is a very good video about psychopaths in society. The thing that struck me about this movie is when they were interviewing people on the street about the word psychopath. 

The only thing that most people think about the word psychopath is “crazy”. Most people assume they would know if someone were a 
crazy psychopath” if they were to run into one. 

Every day people interact with psychopaths at work, in school. in the community and in their family and social settings. They do not recognize the psychopath, even when they are right in front of them, telling them that their suit is perfect and that they look phenomenal.

Psychopaths can be charming and complementary to anyone who that they feel would be of some use to them. People are pawns. tools and characters in the psychopath’s play, that write as they wish. 

Psychopath’s can seem like the “pillar of the community”  and like the ideal person with good manners and etiquette. These people learn how to act by watching people. They learn that people have certain facial expressions that go along with certain appropriate emotions.

They watch and mimic people, so that their behaviors do not stand out and set off red flags that would make people stay away from them.

The “psychopathic bond” is very powerful. This is trauma bonding or it might be stockholme syndrome. They psychopath is skilled in getting you to bond with them deeply.

 

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Brain Fog / PTSD from Narcissistic Abuse / Domestic Abuse