aftermath of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse, emotional abuse, narcissistic abuse syndrome, Uncategorized

C-PTSD from Emotional / Mental Abuse

girl crying 2

image from Pinterest HERE

Trauma during childhood and teenage years leaves fractured pieces of yourself, existing in time. As you begin to accept those child parts that feel abandoned, you will begin to realize that time is not as linear as we have been programmed to perceive it.

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All of those parts of you exists now. You can reach out to them and bring them into yourself to integrate those fractured parts, so they do not feel rejected and abandoned.
This will help you to be more in the present, so that you can think more clearly and see what you want and what you can do with your life.
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C-PTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) is caused by being in on-going emotional / mental abuse from people that you feel entrapped with. There is no way to leave the situation, when you are a child and you are stuck in whatever situations your parents put you into.
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Emotional abuse and other kinds of abuse cause emotional wounds.

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These emotional wounds are not able to heal while you are still in the abusive situations. Usually children are so used to the way they are living that there is no real frame of reference to know that you are being abused, or the degree to which the abuse is.

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Wounded children feel abandoned in time, and there is no proper integration of these child parts into the whole. It is like there is still a wounded child inside of you that is waiting for someone to rescue them. Doing inner child work can help the fractured parts to become integrated.

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If you have C-PTSD from childhood trauma, abuse, or chaotic events, your may have fractures and wounds in your subconscious. This can cause depression, anxiety disorders, OCD and other kinds of mental illness.

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The feeling that you do not belong anywhere and that you are out of place can come from the fractured child parts feeling abandoned. They need to be accepted and nurtured.

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I am working on some hypnosis audios for healing the wounded child and helping the fractured parts to integrate. If you want to get updates about the audios, feel free to follow the Facebook Page,or to sign up on the contact page at theGentlekindness coachingweb site.

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abuse, abusive relationships, aftermath of abuse, aftermath of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse, narcissist, narcissistic abuse, narcissistic abuse syndrome, Uncategorized

Adult Children of Abusive Parents – Two Cluster B Parents

Two abusive parents can come in various combinations of Cluster B personality disorders. If you grew up with two parents that were abusive, then you went through hell and there is emotional trauma that is still affecting you as an adult. 

The DSM designates narcissistic personality disorder as a personality disorder, along with a few others. Malignant Borderline personality disorder is often co-morbid with narcissistic personality disorder. But is has some extra characteristics including extreme mood disregulation and fear of abandonment. 

Psychopathy is called anti-social personality disorder in the DSM. It is extreme narcissism with some other characteristsics, including a disregard for the law and rules of society. Narcissism is on a spectrum, which has anti=social personality disorder at the far right side. 

Histrionic personality disorder is also a Cluster B personality disorder. It is narcissism with an obsession with sex. The histrionic is a female disorder, whereas the majority of psychopaths are male…but not all. 

Two people with a cluster B personality disorder sometimes get together for various reasons. Neither of the partners is equipped to raise children with kindness or compassion. They care about themselves and not the needs of the children. 

Depending on the combination of personality disorders, the couple may stay together or break up. Two narcissists can sometimes work together to each get their needs for narcissistic supply met. This is not a loving relationship, but a functional agreement.

Children of two narcissists will be subject to extreme manipulation and control by the parents. Both parents are abusive, in an emotional and mental way. One or both may be sexually inappropriate with the children. Often one parent will turn a blind eye to what the other one does to the child. 

Adult children of narcissists have C-PTSD from the years of on-going abuse. Covert abuse can damage the child as much or more than overt physical abuse. Adult children of parents that were covertly, mentally abusive don’t always know that they were abused at all. The damage is there, but the adult child of mental abuse does not know what is wrong with them. 

People with C-PTSD from abuse often have depression, and anxiety disorders. They may have problems with executive function, which is the part of the brain that helps us to organize,  manage our lives and other skills that most “normal” people use to survive. 

Day to day tasks can be difficult for people with C-PTSD. Sometimes people do pretty well surviving for years, and then suddenly have an emotional / mental crash, when the repressed trauma begins to bubble its way to the surface. 

It is common for adult victims of abuse to be lured by narcissistic predators. There are certain characteristics of a survivor of abuse, that attract predators to prey on them. Low self esteem makes it easy for the predator to invade the victim;s boundaries. A desensitization to abuse makes it easy for the abuser to confuse the victim into rationalizing the abuse. 

The first step to recovering from C-PTSD from childhood abuse is to recognize abuse…and to call abuse “abuse.”

Recovery from abuse requires re-wiring the neural pathways of your brain. Growing up with narcissist means years if conditioning and brainwashing. Many of the beliefs that you hold deep in your subconscious are false. Negative feelings about yourself and your capabilities come from brainwashing from the narcissistic family. 

Getting therapy of coaching can help you to sift through the abuse, and to identify what false beliefs you are carrying. If you are being held back in life by mental tapes that keep playing in your head, these messages can be changed and your brain can be re-wired so that you can be your authentic self. 

There is nothing wrong with you. You have great self worth. Understanding the true value to your authentic, natural self can help to get your life back on track. Any therapist or life coach you work with needs to have an understanding of narcissistic abuse and narcissistic abuse syndrome. 

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If you are interested in coaching for overcoming narcissistic abuse and C-PTSD from abuse, you can check out the gentlekindness web site. There is a contact page where you can send me a message to let me know you are interested in setting up coaching. 

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Visit the site here..http://www.gentlekindnesscoaching.com/

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You can also get more information and connect with other victims at the facebook  page here….https://www.facebook.com/gentlekindnesscoaching/?ref=bookmarks

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I have videos about abuse and abuse recovery at my YouTube channel here.https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJw1QUDzb59PbWTcnGjGJ7g/videos

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abuse, depression, healing after narcissistic abuse, healing from domestic abuse, mental abuse, mental illness, narcissistic abuse, narcissistic abuse syndrome, narcissistic psychopath, overcoming narcissistic abuse, psychopaths, PTSD from domestic abuse, Uncategorized

Vulnerability without Shame

You can be compassionate and have great empathy for others, and still have strong personal boundaries. You deserve to have dignity and for others to treat you with respect.

Setting boundaries with people is not selfish. Loving yourself is not selfish. 

We have been conditioned to say “yes” to people, when they are insistent with us. This is especially true for people who come from emotional abuse. But the person who is insistent about things that make you uncomfortable is not being loving to you. 

Love those that are loving. Care for those who are capable of caring. I love Brene Brown and her work on vulnerability, shame and empathy. Sharing your strengths and your struggles with people is being vulnerable, and it can have a healing effect on others. But you have the right to have personal boundaries and you have the right to say NO to people about things. 

You do not have to provide people with reasons that they agree are valid. If someone discounts your reality, then they are not being loving. You do not have to serve their agenda. Save your energy for those who are loving. 

Brene Brown talks about the culture we live in which promotes shame for not being perfect enough, or for being the person that the media says we should be. 

 

 

abuse, aftermath of abuse, aftermath of narcissistic abuse, devaluation, domestic abuse, domestic violence, malignant narcissistic personality disorder, mental abuse, narcissistic abuse, narcissistic abuse meme, narcissistic abuse syndrome, overcoming narcissistic abuse, PTSD from domestic abuse, PTSD from mental abuse, Uncategorized

You Have Innate Value and Incredible Worth

worth

abuse, abusive relationships, aftermath of abuse, aftermath of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse, domestic violence, emotional abuse, gaslighting, healing after narcissistic abuse, healing from domestic abuse, healing from narcissistic abuse, leaving an abuser, malignant narcissistic personality disorder, mental abuse, narcissism, narcissist, narcissistic abuse, narcissistic abuse syndrome, narcissistic victim abuse syndrome, Narcissists, no contact, no contact from narcissist, no contact with the narcissist, overcoming narcissistic abuse, PTSD from domestic abuse, revenge on a narcissist, Uncategorized, women abuse

No Contact Includes Un-friending Them

no contact stop checking facebook

image from lawsofmondern man tumblr blog

It is extremely tempting to keep checking on what your ex is up to. They count on this and will intentionally pose for pictures that will bother you, and then post them on their facebook page. They want you to see them havint a great time with the new target.

The narcissists gets fuel (narcissistic supply) from knowing that you are jealous of their new partner. They will intentionally take that partner to places and activities they told you they would  not do with you. This is to rub salt into your already painful wounds.

For all you know they dragged the person to those places and they did not really want to go. You know how powerful the narcissist is at manipulating. If course the partner is going to smile for the pictures, because they do not want to look bad on facebook.

You are being mind controlled by the narcissist. They want you to think that this time the relationship is real, and that you missed out because you were  not good enough for them. But it is all the same game.

The pathological narcissists works in cycles. They repeat them over and over again. The idealization and devaluing….the triangulation of the new target with the ex lover. They gain lots of narcissistic supply from triangulating you with the new partner,because they are causing jealousy in both of you.

They are mentioning you to the new partner. Your name will likely come up from time to time, just so the new target knows they have to stay in line, if they want to keep the relationship. The narcissist will tell lies about you in any number of ways. They may tell the new partner that you are still interested in them…or that you were better at something that they are.

This is all part of garnering fuel (narcissistic supply). You are playing into their hands, just the way they planned, by checking on their facebook page and other social media. In order to heal, you have to go No Contact for real.

Checking their pictures and activities is still a passive form of contact. You need to heal and regain your identity. Unfriend them and let them stew about that. It is the best way to get back at them.

abuse, abuse poetry, healing after narcissistic abuse, healing from domestic abuse, healing from narcissistic abuse, mental abuse, mental health, mental illness, narcissism, narcissist, Narcissist psychopath, narcissistic abuse, narcissistic abuse syndrome, narcissistic psychopath, narcissistic victim abuse syndrome, Narcissists, overcoming narcissistic abuse, people pleaser syndrome, poetry, psychopathic abuse, PTSD from domestic abuse, PTSD from mental abuse, Uncategorized

Somebody

I looked at things in a certain way

Because somebody told me I should

I averted my gaze when I should have looked

Because somebody told me to turn

I walked away when I should have stayed

Because somebody told me to go

I denied myself and I suffered pain

Because somebody told me to suffer

I worked too hard …or not at all

Because somebody said it was right

I listened to the programs in my brain

Because somebody said they were mine…

I lost myself, and people I loved

Because someone said,

“Don’t waste your time”

I ignored the gnawing in my gut

Because somebody said not to listen

I went down paths that didn’t feel right

Because somebody said it was safe…

But Somebodies do not save you

When the actions you did betray you

And Somebody doesn’t know you

like you need to know yourself

And somebody else’s agenda will just

End you up in mental hell

abuse, abuse poetry, aftermath of abuse, aftermath of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse, emotional abuse, gaslighting, healing after narcissistic abuse, healing from domestic abuse, mental abuse, narcissistic abuse syndrome, narcissistic victim abuse syndrome, Uncategorized

Psychopaths are Like an Toxic Infection on Society

psychic violencepsychopaths dont feedpsychopaths feed