abuse, abusive relationships, aftermath of abuse, aftermath of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse, emotional abuse, healing after narcissistic abuse, narcissism, narcissist, Narcissist psychopath, narcissistic abuse, narcissistic psychopath, overcoming narcissistic abuse, poetry, Uncategorized

Vampire

Things you drained from me…

My worth

My time

My love

My mind

My patience

My intellect

My passion

My common sense

My hope

My dreams

My tears

in streams

My fairness

My strength

My happiness

My pain

You sucked my soul

Like a vampire feeds

With no remorse

For your insidious deeds

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abuse, abuse poetry, healing after narcissistic abuse, healing from domestic abuse, healing from narcissistic abuse, mental abuse, mental health, mental illness, narcissism, narcissist, Narcissist psychopath, narcissistic abuse, narcissistic abuse syndrome, narcissistic psychopath, narcissistic victim abuse syndrome, Narcissists, overcoming narcissistic abuse, people pleaser syndrome, poetry, psychopathic abuse, PTSD from domestic abuse, PTSD from mental abuse, Uncategorized

Somebody

I looked at things in a certain way

Because somebody told me I should

I averted my gaze when I should have looked

Because somebody told me to turn

I walked away when I should have stayed

Because somebody told me to go

I denied myself and I suffered pain

Because somebody told me to suffer

I worked too hard …or not at all

Because somebody said it was right

I listened to the programs in my brain

Because somebody said they were mine…

I lost myself, and people I loved

Because someone said,

“Don’t waste your time”

I ignored the gnawing in my gut

Because somebody said not to listen

I went down paths that didn’t feel right

Because somebody said it was safe…

But Somebodies do not save you

When the actions you did betray you

And Somebody doesn’t know you

like you need to know yourself

And somebody else’s agenda will just

End you up in mental hell

abuse, abuse poetry, abusive relationships, aftermath of abuse, aftermath of narcissistic abuse, dark poetry, domestic abuse, domestic abuse blog, domestic violence, emotional abuse, healing after narcissistic abuse, narcissism, narcissist, Narcissist psychopath, narcissistic abuse, narcissistic abuse syndrome, poem, poetry, Psychopath, psychopathic abuse, Uncategorized, women abuse

Contempt is Your Mistress

Contempt is Your Mistress

I am so tired
My brain is in shock
I can no longer arrange
The thoughts in my mind

My head aches from trying
And thinking so hard
To straighten the pieces
Back into their function

The pieces that are sharp
The pieces that are scalding
The edges that cut like blades
The fragments that shatter bones

My mind is shattered
And disconnected
My body is poisoned
Almost into seizure

My thoughts – explosions
Of anger and pain
My feelings – shock waves
From shaming and blame

Sensations of fire
Sensations of death
Sensations of freezing
Delusions of rest

You’ve stolen my truth
For your own empowerment
You bloodied my faith
To prove your sick point

You forced me to hate you
You forced me to lie
You opened strange poisons
And forced me to try

Your mind is so twisted
With anger and hate
You’ve made me the same
In part of my brain

You felt so compelled
To damage and crush me
Contempt is your mistress
She slept in my bed

abuse poetry, dark poetry, domestic abuse, domestic violence, narcissism, Narcissist psychopath, narcissistic abuse, narcopath, poetry, Psychopath abusive relationship, psychopathic abuse

Beauty in the Mist

He sees her from afar

She is untouchable

Unreachable

Isolated by her captor

As if she is lost behind the mist

Of the darkness of a summer evening

Full of ominous clouds

Predicting disaster…

He would revel in her beauty

and femininity

If only

he could have the chance

to hold her

to cherish her

To keep her safe

from the monster she is with..

But she is lost in a maze

where all paths lead to pain..

He knows she has lost her way

He watches her suffering

but to no avail

She cannot see him

or hear his pleas to her

To leave the monster

She does not know

that he would love her

in ways

she cannot imagine she deserves

because she is being suffocated

by the monster…

the psychopath that

keeps her imprisoned

by manipulating her reality

She serves the very monster

That will ultimately destroy her

For no other reason 

Than to see if he can…

The end will come soon

With a bullet to her head

or a beating black and blue

When she finally sees 

That she should have left the monster

Long ago

Before it was too late

abuse poetry, abusive relationships, dark poetry, domestic abuse, domestic violence, mental illness, narcissism, narcissistic abuse, Narcissists, poetry, psychopathic abuse, psychopaths

Intimacy with Darkness – Narcissistic / Psychopathic Abuse Poetry

I was charmed by his intelligence

Lured by the vulnerability

like a mother bear to a lost cub

What else could I do?

What other choice do you see?

Couldn’t just leave him that way

all torn and bleeding

from the abuse and cruelty

in his past…

He needed to be saved…

right?

He seemed to know what I was feeling

Like he knew me from another life

He understood me so well

Listened to me with a distant empathy

Heard every story,  felt every pain

I opened everything up to him

Spilled out all my fears,

All my hopes, all my dreams

He listened to my weaknesses and said

Never you mind,

Better to accept them and

get them out in the open

You’ve been holding them too long

He made careful note of my deepest fears

My triggers, and my trauma

Kept mental notes on every fine detail

What would you think?

What would you assume?

It was true love’s patient virtue?

This was a confidant to be trusted?

With my life?

With my mind?

With my sanity?

Let me shed some light…

on the darkness of some people

that hunt for strangers

full of passion,  kindness

empathy, and loneliness

There are predators hunting now

as I write these words right now

for you to heed somehow…

like your life depends on them

and the hope inside you head…

So you shall not bleed

From deep spiritual wounding

and psychological breaking

My warning is true

Watch your step unlike mine

Keep your passion

tempered with ration

Stay away from the psychopath

Once you have crossed over

There is no going back

You can escape…

remove your body from the crime…

but how can you remove

the intimate knowledge of darkness

from your mind?

emotional abuse, life, mental abuse, narcissism, narcissistic abuse, narcissistic victim abuse syndrome, poetry

Prey

You told me tales of your ex

How she abused

your poor little mind…

Threatened you 

Tormented you

Used you

and Discarded you

Like a chewed up piece of meat

Then you …

Used me

Threatened me

Sleep deprived me

Deranged my reality

Brainwashed me

And otherwise played

Your Game…

Now I am the ex

you are talking about

Who tormented you

Hurt you

And broke you down…

But the one who abuses

Is behind your dead eyes

The stalker

The confuser

The tormentor 

is you

Your words are all lies…

Your ex was abused

I see through you now

And your predatory ways

You claim to be the victim

While setting up your prey

domestic abuse, mental abuse, narcissism, narcissist, narcissistic abuse, narcissistic abuse syndrome, poetry

Narcissist Prey

You told me tales of your ex

How she abused

your poor little mind…

Threatened you 

Tormented you

Used you

and Discarded you

Like a chewed up piece of meat

Then you …

Used me

Threatened me

Sleep deprived me

Deranged my reality

Brainwashed me

And otherwise played

Your Game…

Now I am the ex

you are talking about

Who tormented you

Hurt you

And broke you down…

But the one who abuses

Is behind your dead eyes

The stalker

The confuser

The tormentor 

is you

Your words are all lies…

Your ex was abused

I see through you now

And your predatory ways

You claim to be the victim

While setting up your prey