life, mental health, mental illness, narcissist, poetry

Being In Love with a Narcissist

I am human

I am strong…

I am weak

I can feel

I can break

I can heal…

The pain..

In your body

In your mind

But I am human

You can take

What you need

But not too much

I can bleed

I can break

My mind

Can only take

An certain amount

of TORMENT

TEASING

REJECTION

HUMILIATION

DISRESPECT

INTENTIONAL CONFUSION

MANIPULATION

ABUSE

GASLIGHTING

Before it

SCREAMS!

Disorganizes

Bleeds

And eventually…

DIES

domestic abuse, life, mental abuse, mental health, mental illness, poetry, PTSD from domestic abuse

No One Hears

No

One

Hears

the silent

screams 

of the

victims

No

One 

Sees

The scars 

we

cover up

No

One 

Feels

The sadness

in

our hearts

No

One 

Knows

the terror

of our

nightmares

Every

One 

Thinks

the victim’s

trauma 

goes away

Only

Victims

Know

the scars

are

here

to 

stay

domestic abuse, life, mental abuse, mental health, mental illness, poetry

Gaslighting Poem mental abuse

He decides

what is allowed to be discussed 

and what is not up for discussion

He decides

what happened in a given situation

and how you felt

whether it was justified or not

and whether or not 

he is willing to care

to prevent your mental torment

from continuing

He decides what things he said

and what things he did not

and which ones

he just can’t remember saying

If he does not recall them

then you cannot tell him 

that he said them.

His lack of memory

is excuse enough

to decide that he is innocent

He decides what events he remembers

and which ones he does not.

If he chooses not to remember

then how can he trust you

to be retelling them correctly?

If for some reason he forgot the details,

the issue cannot be discussed

no matter how much it injured you

It is too bad

He tells you that

your memory is tainted

by your extreme sensitivity

and he is sure

that he did nothing wrong

You must be thinking if someone else

from your past that treated you that way

It was not him

It didn’t occur

He does not remember

what happened a few hours ago

He was too busy during the interim

and you were not worth remembering

Nor were the cruel words

he said to you

This is gaslighting

This is mental abuse

domestic abuse, life, mental health, poetry, women's issues

You Just Rewrite the Script

Darkness blinds my eyes

Trauma chokes my breath

Your Twisted lies destroy

My Truth is lost in your rewrites

Expectations and demands

I cannot live up to

You dominate by placing blame

Saying that I was the neglector

You reverse the roles with ease

Twisting time and reality itself

Making me the mental abuser

Turning the things you said

Into my words rather than yours

I am in mental shock

Still injured from your words

Not able to catch my breath

As you pretend you were the abused

 I waited all day for you to respond to my calls

You said that is was you who was

curled up in a ball

Needing to talk to me

and I just wasn’t there

Not caring about your needs

You say I am the one always too busy 

to be emotionally available for you

Even though you hung up the phone

time and again

at 1 or 2 am to answer a call

and  said you would call me back

but made me wait until 4am

Waking me up from my sleep

Accusing me of not being focused enough

on whatever you were telling me

at 4 am in my sleep

But I was emotionally unavailable

and mentally dangerous 

to your brain

This is what you always said

If I told you that you hurt me

in any way

Defences elude my mouth

As you cry that I attacked you

And shame me into silence

Feeling utterly defeated

and confused

Just longing to be close to you

You just rewrite the script

How it will serve you best

 Reality is what you say

Whatever serves you best

along the way