#women's history month, abuse, abuse red flags, abusive relationships, aftermath of abuse, anti-social personality disorder, battered women, emotional abuse, gaslighting, healing after narcissistic abuse, healing from domestic abuse, malignant narcissistic personality disorder, narcissistic victim abuse syndrome, overcoming narcissistic abuse, Uncategorized

Domestic abuse and Partner Abuse

Being in a partner abuse situation, or living in domestic abuse is a lonely experience. You can lose your sense of self and your confidence in your perceptions.

Reality becomes confused due to gaslighting and emotional abuse of the partner.Your self confidence is crushed and you do not feel like there is any possibility for life outside of the abusive relationship you have become “trauma bonded” to.

You can develope Stockholme Syndrome and feel like you need to defend and cover for the abuser. Living in fear of angering the partner, you become careful of what you say and do.

Isolation is a typical tactic of abusive partners to control their partner and keep them from getting support. You may not even realize that your abuser has intentionally isolated you. You just don’t invite people over anymore, and you feel you have to ask permission to visit anyone.

You are not alone. The methods of abusers are nearly identical and equally terrifying. There is a darkness permeating your soul that you cannot explain.

You need to get support and information about types of abusive personalities and the tactics they use. You can find support that will give you strength and more clarity about what is happening.

Most areas have women’s shelters. They can offer you counseling about getting away and how to do so safely. It may take you time to build up a savings account in your name, but do not stay if you feel you are in danger.

Men have more trouble finding support. Most women’s shelters cannot help you if you are a man living in an abusive relationship. Human services in your area may have resources they can refer you to.

Primary care physicians and local psychiatric services may also be able to guide you toward resources for a place to provide counseling for safe escape.

Living in abuse requires lots of support for you self esteem and mental health. You need help while you are still living there. You will also need help for PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) after you leave.



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Abuse is Abuse

You do not deserve to be abused in any way.

Physical abuse is what people think of when they hear the term domestic violence. People who are enduring other forms of abuse often do not seek help from places that help domestic abuse victims. 

Emotional and mental abuse is also abuse.

It is devastating just like physical abuse is. Victims of physical abuse say that they endured severe psychological damage from the mind games, the demeaning, the verbal assaults and the gaslighting of the abuser. 

Victims of physical abuse often have PTSD from the emotional aspect of the abuse.

The nightmares and the flashbacks are due to the fact that a person filled with darkness entered their minds and manipulated their perceptions of reality. 

Abuse victims are made to feel inferior to the abuser.

They are made to live in fear of disagreeing and disobeying the narcissistic partner. This is the same for victims of emotional / mental abuse, whether or not there is physical element to the abuse.

Many agencies that offer assistance to abuse victims recognize that you can be abused without being hit or struck in any way. There is still a constant fear of the abuser. There is a fear of what they will do if you cross them. 

Living like a slave to a person that you loved and tried to care for, is torture. Living like a slave to a person that claims, or once claimed to love you is torture. 

The abuser is skilled at knowing how to trick you into revealing things about yourself that they can use against you. They know how to elicit the strongest emotions in you. 

Once the honeymoon, idealization phase is over, they systematically destroy your soul. They suck all of your life energy and your will to be yourself. 

They strip you of your ability to love and take care of yourself.

You know only how to cater to the narcissist. You become brainwashed into thinking that you deserve the abuse or that you are not really being abused at all. 

Abuse is abuse. Abuse is abuse. Abuse us abuse. 

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PTSD from Narcissistic / Domestic Abuse

domestic abuse, domestic violence, emotional abuse, malignant narcissistic personality disorder, mental abuse, narcissism, narcissistic abuse

What is a Good Excuse for Domestic Violence?

Please know that violence tends to escalate. It begins with control and manipulation with a threat of retaliation for non compliance.

Someone physically blocking you or stopping you from leaving the room or the house is an early red flag. Violence comes in increasing stages.

Violence can begin or end with psychological violence….the raping of the soul. If your identity is being stripped away or you are forced to hide your true self, then you are under diress.

Someone who is controlling you with fear is dangerous to you on every level. Even if tbey never strike you physically, if they are violating your core being then you need to escape.

Physical violence escalates each time. If tbey are punching walls and breaking your things, it is an intentional tactic to instill fear in you.

These are terror tactics just like terrorists use…only you are the target.

What is a good excuse for hitting you, bruising you, or physically intimidating you in any way? There is none. 

The very act of them coming up with excuses…such as you made them angry, they had a bad day or they had too much to drink….tells you that they are very dangerous.

Them making excuses means that there is always an excusable reason for violence and it will happen again.

There is no excuse for domestic violence or partner abuse. None.

Draw your boundaries and stick to them.

domestic abuse, domestic violence, narcissism, narcissist, Narcissist psychopath, narcissistic abuse, narcissistic abuse meme, narcissistic victim abuse syndrome, Narcissists, narcopath, Psychopath abusive relationship, psychopathic abuse, psychopaths

Narcissist Mind Manipulation Reality Altering

narcissistic abuse is brainwashing

domestic abuse, emotional abuse, life, malignant narcissistic personality disorder, mental abuse, mental health, mental illness, Narcissist psychopath, Psychopath

Narcissistic Anti-social Darkness

There are narcissists that also have anti-social personality. What the extra element is, if you were dealing up close with psychopathy, is that they get an elevation from being sadistic.

Anti-social personality is what the accepted term now is for psychopath. The other term people mix around and interchange with these is sociopath.

Pick your poison, you are dealing with someone who intentionally inflicts pain, be it physical,  emotional or psychological.

The narcissistic psychopath inflicts pain just to see you suffer. They feel powerful when they can make you suffer with no other reason that to do it.

Narcissists inflict pain in order to make you fear feeling that emotional pain, because this makes you more compliant.  If you suffer through their emotional punishments like silent treatment or dissappearing from your radar for days or weeks on end, then you will do anything to avoid those punishments in the future.

Once the narcissist has trained you by inflicting emotional pain on you, then you become more compliant with what they want, or ask you for. You fear disagreeing with them, joking with them or doing anything but wait to find out what they want.

The narcissist trains you with punishment.  Their training is painful.  They threaten abuse, in order to keep you compliant also.

But the narcissist that is co-morbid with psychopathy will cause you mental injury, emotional pain, because they like to.

If your ex seemed to cause pain to you, or if they broke up with you in a way that was cruel and unusual. ..did all they could to make it as painful for you as possible…even though there was no strategic gain for them..it did not get them any additional narcissistic supply….

Then it is possible that you were with someone who was far darker and more dangerous that you thought.

This should be a very good reason for you to stay no contact.  You very well may be underestimating the danger of the person you were with.

If you are with someone that fits these criteria and has these behaviors,  please find a safe way out. Then stay no contact.  It is not worth the risk you are taking to stay.

These people are insidious and live in the dark world in their minds. I do not want you anywhere near them.

Blessings and wishes for your peace of mind and safety,


domestic abuse, mental abuse, narcissism, narcissist, narcissistic abuse, narcissistic abuse syndrome, poetry

Narcissist Prey

You told me tales of your ex

How she abused

your poor little mind…

Threatened you 

Tormented you

Used you

and Discarded you

Like a chewed up piece of meat

Then you …

Used me

Threatened me

Sleep deprived me

Deranged my reality

Brainwashed me

And otherwise played

Your Game…

Now I am the ex

you are talking about

Who tormented you

Hurt you

And broke you down…

But the one who abuses

Is behind your dead eyes

The stalker

The confuser

The tormentor 

is you

Your words are all lies…

Your ex was abused

I see through you now

And your predatory ways

You claim to be the victim

While setting up your prey

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Abusers Break Your Heart but They Cannot Take it Away from You

You can still love again, after narcissistic abuse. It might take a while to feel yourself again, to be able to trust your perceptions and to want to share your vulnerability again. That is understandable.

If you were abused by someone who you trusted, then it leaves a very deep wound both emotionally and mentally. Take your time to heal. Get support and take care of yourself. Your mental health has to be the priority after an abusive relationship.

You have been through a tremendous ordeal, and most people will not understand what you are feeling or why the wounds are so very deep. Get connected with others who have been through it. This is where you will find validation and comfort.

Try to keep up with your regular activities, as best as possible. Take breaks when you need to.  Change to new activities that you want to try. You will have more time now, to do the things that the abuser did not allow you to do.

my heart survived

You have a big heart, if you stuck by a narcissistic person. They taxed your patience and you still stood by them. You did not know that they were plotting against you. You just thought that they were hurt and lost. This proves what a big heart you have.

You still have that heart and you are still the same kind person. But you are wiser and will be more cautious before you share your heart again.

Build up your strength with good nutrition and good sleep. Over time you will become stronger. The pain will subside slowly, little by little…but it will subside.

You may forgive and not forget. Or you may choose not to forgive. Let go of your anger when the time feels right. You have a right to your initial anger. It is a normal response to being abused in such a calculated way and in such a vulnerable way.

They tried to break your heart so that you could give it to no other. But they cannot take away your heart. It is still beating within you. You have lots of love to offer people. When the time is right, you may find someone to share it with again.

But for now, know that your heart had been broken, but it cannot be stolen from you.