Predators like narcissists, and sociopaths / psychopaths are a percentage of the population.
At least 10 percent of the population is toxic and psychologically dangerous to be close to, ad far as I can tell.
While there are beautiful, creative, kind people in every culture, there are also predators in every culture
It is not something new. They go back as far as history does.
You see them described in Greek mythology and mythology from other cultures. There are stories about them in the bible, going back to Genesis .
So yes, we have to survive, or hopefully thrive, amongst predators and personality disordered individuals .
For some reason, it is part of living in this reality on this earth.
Many speculate as to why there is suffering in the world. While not all suffering is due to psychopaths and narcissists, a lot more of it is than people credit to them.
The question as to why is just that. It’s a question that is beyond us to really know.
The priority to me, as q life coach of abuse victims, is to support people to be able to live, create, find joy, and connect with humanity in a way that makes life worth living.
The will to live is often precarious, after years of being attacked by these kinds of dark workers.
I refer to them as dark workers, because they are the opposite of light workers who are people who care about the better side to humanity and try to bring that light to othets
So many victims of cruelty by these toxic individuals are nearly at their end of having the will to go on. The narcissists try to remove any beauty from your life.
They give the illusion of hope to the victim, only to crush it under their feet
They would have you believe that they can’t help their behavior because they were once abused themselves.
The evidence is clearly against this being true, since so many people go through horrors at the hands of these predators and have not turned evil.
Abuse does not turn people evil. Abusers just want you to think they can blame someone else for their lack of humanity.
But man’s inhumanity to man goes way back. It goes back as far as history goes. Man’s inhumanity to man does not describe most people.
It does not describe mos5 abused people. It only describes the dark ones who inflict cruelty on others for their own gain and personal sadistic enjoyment.
Your narrative may have been influenced by one or more cruel indivuduals.
You may have been mislead by someone with no capacity to love and show compassion, that you are solely responsible for the way your narrative turned out.
But every time you had to respond to attacks and danger from a predator, you made the best choice you were able to make at the time. Your choices and decisions were based on what was happening, and who you needed to protect.
Do not attach your identity to the narrative of a life that was interfered witg by one or more cruel, abusive people. They chose to put you into situations, whete there was no good choive. There were just efforts to avoid the lesser of the eviks that a predator was about to dish out to you, or to someone you were trying to protect from more harm.
The less importance you give to that narrative that was your life up until this point, the better you can detach from the narcissist.
All the parts that were written by, or interfered with by a psychopath or a narcissist, are their writing. They wrote those sections of a play that you never consented to being in.
Your narrative is the one you would have created if you had not been spending your time putting fires out all over the place, that some sadistic person was setting.
The way you would like your life to be matters. It says much more about you than the narrative that you have lived up until this point .
Don’t see yourself with eyes of shame, based on things the narcissists fed to you.
Don’t believe the lies you have been told by the people who wanted you to suffer, fail and blame yourself.
These predators have no accountability. They want to blame everyone but themselves for their ridiculous behavior.
Believe in the person within you that would have created an entirely different story. Drink that story in.
You are the one who believes what you know is beauty, and what you know is truth deep down inside.
Let your logic and critical thinking guide you, as you make decisions and take action to make things better for yourself and those who deserve a beautiful life
Listen to your intuitiom about the people you meet, and the things they say. Don’t be conned by the con artists that want to make you feel like there is something wrong with you for knowing to question their intentions.
If someone has alterior motives, questionable intentions or contempt for you, then they deserve to be distrusted by you.
No matter how they manipulate your thoughts around, you do not have to feel guilt or shame for wanting to survive, avoid pain, or to create a beautiful life.
You are not responsible for someone else’s behavior. You are not obligated or responsible to make allowances for another person’s character flaws to your own detriment, or to the detriment of your children.
The predators have no more of a right to survive and live well than you do. They may feel entitled to things that you have or things you do not have, but that is their problem. It does not have to be your problem.
You will be in a better position to offer your gifts to others, when not being destablized by cruel, abusive manipulators
Reserve your love, acceptance and generosity for those people that have compassion, kindness and creativity.
Narcissists and psychopaths / sociopaths are mimics. They imitate normal emotion and they are practiced con artists.
You do not have to disclose your thoughts, feelings or ideas to eveeyone who asks you questions, or pretends to care .
You can take your ability to create your life back. Your right to create your own path never went away.
Remember that abusers, con artists, covert narcissist, and victim – playing predators are grandios in their thoughts about themselves.
They have contempt and envy of you. It is their problem and you cannot fix them.
They choose who they are each and every day.
They don’t have the right to choose who you are, or tell you that they know you better than you know yourself .
You can create your own narrative, both past and present . Your story is what you believed, in regards to beauty, love, creativity and humanity.
Doing the dance with a predator can feel like it contaminates you.
But your mind is highly more intelligent in regards to being a creator, rather than a destroyer.
Your story is not the one that your abusers told you. Even your memories are affected heavily by the gaslighting and the lies they told you.
It’s impossible to actually remember any events exactly the way they were. So if someone has made you feel shame about situations where you were trying to survive abuse, then the chances are the truth is lost in translation anyway.
Your story is you and your humanity. Your story is about the person who still offered kindness to others and struggled to believe in humanity in the midst of being in close personal proximity to a dark worker
Their dark work will go on most especially because they are always twisting the truth, changing the facts and even their own narrative.
Let it be. Protect yourself and your loved ones who have true compassion for others.
Be the light for your own path. The narrative that makes you feel like a failure, or inadequate is lies and gaslighting.
It is something imposed upon you by dark manipulators that had an alterior agenda than it seemed .
Live life creatively. Use your critical thinking. Listen to your intuition.
And most importantly, believe in yourself
Not the self of someone else’s narrarive of you.
The real person that you are. The one that had an entirely different narrative of their life in mind.
Hold onto that narrative as the one that represents you.