emotional abuse, life, mental abuse, mental health, narcissist, narcissistic abuse, narcissistic abuse syndrome

Monsters …a poem about narcissistic abuse

Get away from me

Get out of my life

I have had enough lies from you

You have had your fun

You have done your deed

Now it is time for you 

to move on to your next victim

Get away from me

Get out of my brain

I have had enough obsessive thoughts about you

You burrowed in deep

To my subconsciousness 

Now it is time for you

to be washed off

like the dirt on  my skin

Get away from my daughters

Get away from my sisters

They have no weakness for you

For I have learned my lesson

and passed it on

So that you will never get through

Mark my words

you will never be

Anyone of any strength

For you pick on the weak ones

and steer clear of the strong ones

Like a bully in the schoolyard

Move along on your way

In my brain you won’t stay

I have no more desire for you

Your narcissistic  ways

Your abusive tactics

Will work on me no more

Get off of my skin

I won’t let you in

to do more damage to me

You tried hard to break me

And now you forsake me

But I rose above all your damage

You thought you could beat me

But you can’t defeat me

My love and compassion still live

I’ll learn to love again

and be sure to spread the word

About the monsters

that disguise themselves as people

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domestic abuse, life, mental abuse, mental health, mental illness, poetry, PTSD from domestic abuse

No One Hears

No

One

Hears

the silent

screams 

of the

victims

No

One 

Sees

The scars 

we

cover up

No

One 

Feels

The sadness

in

our hearts

No

One 

Knows

the terror

of our

nightmares

Every

One 

Thinks

the victim’s

trauma 

goes away

Only

Victims

Know

the scars

are

here

to 

stay

domestic abuse, domestic violence, gaslighting, life, mental abuse, mental health, post traumatic stress disorder, post traumatic stress disorder from domestic abuse . mental abuse, PTSD from domestic abuse, PTSD from mental abuse

Why Do I Miss the Partner Who Was Mentally Abusive to Me? Why am I so Lonely ?

Question:

How can I feel okay after the relationship with an abusive person ends? Why do I feel so lonely and miss them?

Answer:

You will not feel ok, at the beginning. It is very painful and I empathize with the extreme emotional trauma of the breakup. Due to the tendency of a narcissist to become blended with you , when you break up, it is hard to function without them. They will do much better than you and recover faster.

The illusion is that they are very needy of you and that you are their angel and savior. It seems like they should have an emotional crisis and be in the same pain you are after the breakup, but it is usually much more painful for the victim.

You actually loved them and felt real caring for them. You probably still worry if they will be able to survive without you. But they are good at getting people to the things they want and need them to do. They will manipulate them with flattery, and a seemingly humble deferring to their expertise.

They will then appear as a helpless, victimized person who is desperate for the other person’s help. They will get help and be able to find people to be there for them. Believe me.

You can let that worry go, and that will help you to start with. You do not have to feel guilty about breaking up.

The other reason you feel pain, is that the narcissist was involved in every aspect of your life and in every part of your day. There is no thing you can do, that does not make you feel like you should be doing it with them. You feel like you should be consulting with them, checking in with them, getting approval from them.

You temporarily lost your individual identity to this relationship. It will take time to get it back and learn to make your own choices without feeling guilty. Remember, in healthy relationships, people do not have to get permission for everything they do or include the partner in everything they do all day.

There was a feeling that you thought was love from them, but it was their need to be in control over you and over everything. They scolded you if you did not call them bout your plans and also if you did not schedule your day around them.

You become used to scheduling your day around the other person. It feels like you are working as a team to d that, but the question is,”How many times did they ever, work their schedule around you? How many times did they ever put your needs before their own?”

In contrast, “How many times did you rearrange things for them because they told you it was an emergency? How many times did you sacrifice and put your needs before theirs??”

Part of you knew that this was not right. You knew that if they really loved you, then they would put your needs as a priority sometimes, especially when you were suffering for some reason. But what happened every time you needed them to help you? They suddenly had a crisis that was much more important than yours. Something suddenly came up that was a life and death circumstance with their job and they had to tell you “NO” this time.

How many times did you ever tell them no? What happened when you did try to tell them you could not do something?

How many times did they tell you “ok no problem” when you asked for something? When they did do something for you, how many times did they remind you about it? Did they use it as an excuse not to do anything for you, for a long time after that?

On the other hand, how many favors would you do for them in a row? When you tried to say “N0” to the 20th favor they asked, because you were overloaded, how did they respond? Did they make you feel like a bad partner? Did they mention the one favor they did for you? Did they seem to completely forget all of the other things you have ever done for them, like they did not exist?

Yeah, been there, done that.

It is going to hurt. But it will get less over time. The more of your identity you get back, the better. The more you become comfortable with making your choices and running your own schedule again, the better.