abusive relationships, domestic abuse, domestic violence, mental abuse, mental health, narcissistic abuse

Protect Yourself from Narcissistic Abuse

protect your heart

abuse red flags, abusive relationships, domestic abuse, emotional abuse, life, mental abuse, mental health, narcissist, narcissistic abuse, narcissistic abuse syndrome

Narcissists Have No Empathy or Understanding to Offer You

people with no empathy

abuse red flags, domestic abuse, domestic violence, life, narcissist, narcissistic abuse, narcissistic abuse syndrome

Are Vampires Real? Do Abusive People Intentionally Destroy You?

Are vampires real?

Are creatures that live and thrive from sucking out the life force of other people actually living next to us in the world? 

Have any of us ever been physically intimate with a monster? Has anyone ever had their soul violated and their identity taken by a predator?

I believe that the monsters of the fairy tales are real. The creatures in the Brothers Grimm Fairy Tales are right out of real life. They are not supernatural. They are flesh and blood with insidious intent.

The reality that we want to live in is one where people are all basically concerned for each other. The reality that we want to live in is one where people want to be fair and no one will willingly take more from another person than they give. 

We once used to believe that if we were kind and compassionate to another person, that they would have some feeling of wanting to be fair with us. Some of us even believed that because we had the capability to be so forgiving and tolerant of others, that people would value us and think we were special.

We have had partners that were verbally cruel to us, and we forgave them when they said they were sorry. We believed them when they gave us excuses. Even worse…we let them convince us that we were actually abusive and hurtful to them.

How could a person knowingly and systematically lie and deceive us about ourselves?  Are there really people that would lie to us about how smart we are, how pretty we are, and how kind we are, in order to destroy our confidence?

If you are still reading this article then you have probably seen evil look you in the eyes. You have probably been  “emotionally raped”  by a partner that you loved, cared for, forgave, were patient with and kind with.

What is “emotional rape?” If that phrase is triggering emotions of horror in you, then you already know what I mean by emotional rape. 

What is physical rape?  Rape is when another person takes your body, without your consent and does what they want to do with it.  Even if you did not say “no” with your mouth,  you still could have been raped.

When a person is drunk or drugged and another person has sex with them, then this is rape. The reason that this is rape goes back to the definition of rape. Rape is when another person has sex with your body, when you did not consent to it.

What does consent mean and what constitutes consent?

Consenting to something involves you being clear minded, and that you understand what it is that you are agreeing to. If you are drugged by another person, then they can rape you because you are not in a clear thinking mind, to consent.

If someone lies to you about what they intend to do during sex, it can become rape when they overpower you during sex and force you to do things that you are refusing to do. When they overpower your body or your mind in order to force you yo do things that you do not want to do, they are raping you.

What is “emotional rape?”

Emotional rape is when someone takes your love, your good nature and your feelings for them and then proceeds to lie to you and destroy your identity. Emotional rape is brainwashing someone into falling in love, based on acting like they are a completely different person that they actually are.

The real life monsters pretend to be someone they are not.

They pretend that you are in a relationship with them, which really  does not exist. Emotional rapists suck out the inner most thoughts and feelings that you have and then use this information against you.

These real live monsters manipulate you into thinking that they are protecting you. They make you see enemies that are not really there. They make you believe you are weak and helpless without them. 

These real life monsters lure you in with deceit and malicious intention, planning to destroy you in the end.

They brainwash you into thinking that they are you soul mate and that if you trust them everything will be okay.

They brainwash you into believing that everything they say to you is true and that they are on your side.

Little by little they destroy your confidence and your self esteem.

They intentionally confuse your brain by changing your perception about yourself. The things that you once believed that you were good at are suddenly being questioned.

The strengths you once had are suddenly weaknesses. Your attempts at kindness and honesty are turned and twisted around, until you doubt your own intentions. You keep trying to do more and more for the monster to please him.

The monster convinces you that his needs are not being met.

The monster makes you feel that you are not trying hard enough to be good to him. This gives him the excuses he needs to act in any way that he sees fit. 

He can verbally assault you and physically hurt you, because you somehow deserve it. He can neglect you but make you wait by the phone for him. If you are not waiting for him 24 hours a day, then you do not really care about him and he might have to find someone else.

But if you need him…he can’t tolerate such demanding and needy behavior from you. You are selfish and consider yourself more that you consider him. Don’t you ever think about anyone but yourself?  

But while he in convincing you that you always think about yourself….he actually has trained you to NEVER think about yourself. 

You are so confused about the reality of what is happening that you do not realize that your entire life is now revolving around him.

For a minute or two you might think…oh, well I do give him a lot of my time but…

He really needs me…

He does not realize that I give him more time that he gives me…

He does not realize that I am neglecting my own needs for him…

He does not realize that I need things too…

He is just going through a hard time right now and I have to weather it out…

But the TRUTH is being kept from you !

The truth is that he does know. He knows that he is taking all of your time. He knows that this is hurting you. He knows that he is never there for you. He knows that you are lonely. 

He knows that you are confused about what he believes. He knows that you are getting weaker and that your self confidence and self esteem are being crushed down.

The vampires do this on purpose. They confuse you on purpose, by lying to you. They lie to you about how kind and good you are. They tell you that you are the monster that is taking advantage of them. The know and they lie.

It is in the lying that they keep their position of dominance. It is their lying that enables them to confuse your reality and manipulate you. They take things from you that you do not knowingly or willingly give over to a monster.

If you knew they were lying to you about your relationship, then you would not give them the things they are taking.

If you knew that they were already stalking out the next victim, while they were making future plans with you, then you would not keep doing everything they asked you to do. You would not keep bearing your intimate soul to them.

You bear your soul and your dreams to the monster. Then he takes all of it from you.

You share your intelligence., your wisdom, your kindness and compassion with the monster because you do not see that they are a monster. Then they lie and confuse you until you no longer think you are wise, intelligent or kind. You feel like the monster sees you as selfish and beneath them.

The monster always lies.

They know that you are intelligent and kind. They are fully aware that you are patient and tolerant of them. They do not appreciate it. They want to destroy you because of it.

They want to destroy you because you are good, well intentioned and caring. These are things that they will never be.

They tell you that they have all of these qualities that you have, but they know that they do not. They project their evil, selfish qualities onto you, but they know that it is them.

There are real vampires and they suck your soul,

Their actions are intentional and malicious. Stay away from them. Get away from them. Do not trust them and never think for a minute that they will ever change.

They have contempt for you because you are good.

Monsters want to destroy things that are good and suck the happiness out of people who are happy. They always win the game, unless you do not play.

emotional abuse, gaslighting, life, mental abuse, mental health, mental illness, narcissist, narcissistic abuse, narcissistic abuse syndrome, PTSD from mental abuse

Gaslighting Video on YouTube by Annie

These videos are about my personal recovery from narcissistic abuse. They are not a substitute for seeking mental health treatment from a mental health professional.

Gaslighting is a tactic used by narcissists to control you and make you feel like you are going crazy. It gives them the upper hand.

If you continue to be in a gaslighting situation for an extended period of time, it will take a toll of your mental health.

I give examples in this video from my own relationships. I give two examples of different types of gaslighting tactics that were done to me. One type involves physical objects being misplaced or moved on you. This is similar to the movie “Gaslight” which I watched recently on Amazon Prime.

The other tactic is when they deny certain conversations ever took place. They make you feel like your memory is going and that you are mentally unbalanced.

These gaslighting tactics are also used for them to scold you, punish you and demean you.

I am not a mental health professional. I am a blogger on WordPress. I have a blog called Gentle Mental Annie, which focuses on mental health issues and some other random “Annie” stuff.

I also have a blog called the Lovely Wounded Lady, which is for women from abuse to come together to share experiences and support each other.

The videos here and the blogs are supportive and caring but they are not a substitute for mental health professional treatment. If you are feeling depressed, having severe anxiety or any other narcissistic abuse syndrome symptoms, you should seek professional mental treatment .

I do like the Spartan Life Coach videos, if you are looking for more information about this topic. They were helpful to me, as was his course on Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse. These are just friendly reviews / suggestions.

Please do not get to the place where you are severely depressed or suicidal without seeking professional help. Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome is very severe and can cause mental health issues.


abuse, life, mental health, narcissistic abuse, narcissistic abuse syndrome

Discarded by a Narcissist YouTube video by Annie

The discard phase of a narcissist may be very sudden and cruel, by any moral standards. If you were suddenly and cruelly abandoned / discarded by a narcissist, then you know the terrible pain and confusion that this causes.

You were discarded because you no longer served their purposes as supply. They have found a “better” source of supply. This better source is not “better than you” in the sense you are thinking.

They are probably better because they are less intelligent and will not see through the narcissists games as well.

You may have begun to see that the narcissists was acting in ways that are wrong, either to you or to others. In my case I saw that he was being abusive to his “friends” and taking advantage of people.

Narcissists do not like to be discovered and they do not like their inappropriate behaviors pointed out to them. If you point out things that they do, that are unethical, immoral or inappropriate, they will feel unsafe.

If they do not feel “safe” with you, then they will suddenly leave. They might try to get you to “get with the program” first by scolding you for your “misbehavior”. But once they know that you no longer see them as a victim or as “perfect” then they will abandon you.

This abandonment can be so inappropriate and cruel that is can cause you severe mental / emotional problems.

I am not a therapist and I do not claim to be. This video is not designed to be a substitute for mental health treatment. If you are depressed, suicidal, having severe anxiety it any other mentally disturbing symptoms. please seek the appropriate mental health help from a professional.

I am a fellow victim of narcissistic abuse and I care about other people that are going through the aftermath of narcissistic abuse.

I was discarded on March 14, my birthday. It is not April 23. I am still in the recovery process, but things do get better. The more you learn , the better you will be prepared to recover and to protect yourself in the future.

I have a wordpress blog called gentle mental annie, that focuses on mental health topics and some other Annie stuff.

I alsl have a wordpress blog that is for women who are / or have been in domestic abuse.

My blogs are about my own struggle and a place to communicate. They are not mental health treatment.


life, mental abuse, mental health, mental illness, narcissistic abuse

Do Narcissists Ever Get Better from Their Mental Disorder? No.

This is a link to the video called  Narcissist Loves HIs Disorder and Narcissistic Personality. It is by Sam Vaknin, who is the author of Malignant Self-Love Narcissism Revisited. I have read through parts of his book online and it is very good. I have a copy in my Amazon cart now

I think this particular video is important for you to watch, if you are a person that is primed for narcissistic abuse. You are likely primed for narcissistic abuse if you had an abusive childhood, were raised by a narcissist or have C-PTSD.

Any combination or all of those predictors are important for you to be aware of. If you have already experienced narcissistic abuse by one or more partners, then this is an indicator that there is something about your early wiring as a child that set you up for abuse.

It is unfortunate that those of us that were abused, end up in abusive relationships as adults, but the more we learn about narcissism, the more easily we can protect ourselves from future abuse.

The reason that this Sam Vaknin video is important for you to watch, is that he explains why narcissists do not get better. They do not just go to treatment and heal. They do not just decide to change their ways, no matter what they may tell you.

It is typical for abusers to tell their partner that things will be different or worse, that you overestimated the abuse. They want you to believe that it is your mental illness that created your perception of the abuse.

Please watch this video , so that you can understand that they will not get better and that if you stay with them or go back to them, they will only continue to abuse you.

On a personal note, there was something that Vaknin said in this video that struck home with me. He said that some narcissists will admit that something is mentally wrong with them. They do not know that it is narcissism, but they realize that their mental health is damaged.

As a narcissist their approach to the fact that know they are mentally ill, is to blame their illness for everything that is wrong and use their mental illness as an excuse for their behavior. This is what the narcissist that I was recently in a relationship with did.

He blamed having mental illness for his outbursts and other inappropriate  behavior. He even went so far as to tell people he had just met that he had mental illness and to just deal with any behaviors that may occur. no matter what he said or did, he always had the “out” of saying “But I am mentally ill and  I am suffering. You need to be understanding and help me with whatever it is…anyway.”

I am only mentioning this in case anyone else has been through this. His claim of such tremendous mental suffering was the way that he manipulated me into letting so many things go.

He even did this, in work situations, where he would tell a new employee or consultant that he was mentally ill and they needed to “not do things to trigger him. ” and they also were tole to deal with his behavior because he had no control over it.

I am somewhat curious if I am the only one that has experienced this type of covert narcissist behavior. He also had other excused for his behavior. He would say that he thought he had some kind of spectrum disorder.

He would blame his family.  Now, I am sure that his past with his family did cause his narcissistic disorder and I am actually sympathetic to this part.

And he also constantly said that he had a kind of curse on him, like there was an evil force working against him.

Thank you,