abuse, abuse red flags, abusive men, abusive relationships, devaluation, domestic violence, emotional abuse, gaslighting, healing after narcissistic abuse, healing from domestic abuse, malignant narcissistic personality disorder, narcissistic abuse, narcissistic abuse syndrome, overcoming narcissistic abuse, Uncategorized

Psychopaths in Society

This is a great interview with Thomas Sheridan about psychopaths in society. He taks about how psychopaths target empaths, because compassionate, empathic people will feel sorry for them, when they tell you that initial sob story. They will tell you a story that they either make up, or exaggerate about how abused they have been , or some trauma in their life. 

Then they will judge your reaction. They know how an empath will react to a story like that, and they evaluate their prey in this way.

They suck the energy and life force of empaths, in addition to manipulating you in order to get things from you. 

He also discusses how psychopaths are parasites. They need to attach to enablers, codependents, and empaths, in order to feed off of your energy. They are sadistic and get pleasure from creating chaos and trauma in your life. 

He also talks about the red flags to identify a psychopath. He talks about word salad and other language techniques. The are charming and mirror the qualities you want and the your core values. They want to jump into a relationship with a partner very fast, so that there is no time for the victim to recognize who they are. 

He explains the way they use different masks, and they do not take any responsibility for things they did when they were using another mask. They never admit guilt for anything they do.

abuse, abusive relationships, emotional abuse, gaslighting, healing after narcissistic abuse, mental abuse, mental abuse meme, narcissism, narcissist, Narcissist psychopath, no contact, no contact from narcissist, no contact with the narcissist, post traumatic stress disorder from domestic abuse . mental abuse, Psychopath abusive relationship, PTSD from domestic abuse, PTSD from mental abuse, Uncategorized

If you Have Gotten Out, Stay Away from Your Abuser

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abuse, abusive relationships, aftermath of abuse, aftermath of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse, domestic abuse blog, domestic violence, healing after narcissistic abuse, healing from domestic abuse, healing from narcissistic abuse, leaving an abuser, mental abuse, narcissism, narcissist, narcissistic abuse syndrome, Uncategorized

No Contact

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abuse, aftermath of abuse, aftermath of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse, domestic violence, healing after narcissistic abuse, healing from domestic abuse, healing from narcissistic abuse, malignant narcissistic personality disorder, mental abuse, narcissistic abuse syndrome, narcissistic victim abuse syndrome, Narcissists, overcoming narcissistic abuse, psychopathic abuse, Uncategorized, verbal abuse, victim of narcissist

Narcissists Establish Trust with the Victim

abuse, abusive relationships, aftermath of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse blog, healing after narcissistic abuse, mental abuse, narcissistic abuse, narcissistic psychopath, narcissistic victim abuse syndrome, psychopaths, PTSD from domestic abuse, PTSD from mental abuse, red flags of a narcissist, Uncategorized, victim of narcissist

Darkness of the Psychopathic Narcissist

One of the things that people never believe, unless they have experienced it first hand, is how dark malignant narcissists actually are. The lengths they will go to destroy you is terrifying.

They will slowly convince you through gaslighting that there is something wrong with your mind…to the point where you actually question your own reality. This is very difficult to snap out of after you are no longer in tbe relationship, and impossible to fully detach from during tbe relationship.

Wondering about whether or not you are perceiving situations correctly is so terrifying that it can slowly cause physiological changes in the brain that are the same as various mental illnesses.

I believe that many people with mental illness were abused by a narcissist or a psychopath during their lives and have no idea about it. Children growing up with a malignant, toxic person do not have any frame of reference of what normal is.

Some adults realize that they were exposed to instances of abuse as children or teenagers, because the incidents they are able to identify are either  of a physical nature that caused injury, or of a sexual nature.

They are not aware of the constant mind manipulation and intentional gaslighting which occurred years before the abuse they can identify as abuse. The incidents of physical abuse are terrible, but there was continuous mental manipulation which caused the brain to begin to show signs of mental illness like anxiety disorders, severe depression, OCD, and suicidal thoughts.

Many victims of abuse as adults, are reopening emotional, and psychological wounds that were already caused during childhood.

Adults that cannot recall any physical abuse often do not see their abusers as abusers. There are narcissists that get away with manipulating their children’s reality, their self esteem, and their perception of the narcissistic parent. Narcissists want their victims to feel at fault for the abuse, making the victim unable to identify the abuse as abuse.

Those of us that came across the terms malignant narcissist, gaslighting, and mental abuse are in the minority. Imagine how many people are walking around, thinking there is something innately wrong with them, and they do not realize that their psychological state was inflicted upon them by another person, just so that person could use them to feed off of.

Malignant narcissists are not just arrogant,  delusional people. They are malicious, exploitative monsters that cause their victims to become confused about their own perception of reality….to the point that they doubt their own perceptions and cannot even identify abuse as abuse.

Is it any wonder that children brought up this way end up ensnared by another abuser? When the abuse begins, the victim doubts their own ability to perceive what they feel, see and hear. They discount abusive behavior, and are easily gaslighted into believing it is not abuse.

Psychopaths target people that have already been broken by a narcissist. They know what signs to look for. They know how to test you, in order to see if you will respond to their brainwashing.

You have to reprogram your braim to get rid of the viruses that were installed into you. Otherwise it is difficult to recognize abuse when it starts.

Predators look for the best targets for them to destroy. These people have an extreme darkness within them.

 

 

domestic abuse, domestic abuse blog, domestic violence, healing from domestic abuse, healing from narcissistic abuse, narcissistic abuse, narcissistic abuse syndrome, narcissistic psychopath, narcissistic victim abuse syndrome, psychopathic abuse, psychopaths, PTSD from domestic abuse, PTSD from mental abuse, red flags of a narcissist, red flags of an abusive person, Uncategorized

The Cost of Pleasing a Narcissist

If you have to lose everything you love. just to please one person, then you cannot afford them.

The cost is too high!

If you have to give up your dreams for them….or your self esteem…they are not worth the cost.

You are special and you have innate value. If someone cannot see that, then you will end up losing too much just for one person. 

The cost is too high!

abuse, abusive relationships, aftermath of abuse, aftermath of narcissistic abuse, devaluation, domestic abuse, domestic abuse blog, domestic violence, emotional abuse, gaslighting, healing after narcissistic abuse, healing from domestic abuse, healing from narcissistic abuse, healthy relationships after domestic abuse, narcissism, narcissist, narcissistic abuse syndrome, narcissistic victim abuse syndrome, Narcissists, overcoming narcissistic abuse, Psychopath, Psychopath abusive relationship, psychopathic abuse, PTSD from domestic abuse, Uncategorized

Let Go of What No Longer Serves You or Supports You

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image by Steven Aitchison

I saw this today and I thought it was really great. We need to let go of the things and the people that are bringing us down…keeping us from blossoming and reaching for our dreams. You can surround yourself with people who support you and do not ask you to change to suit them. 

Your dreams matter and you have been through enough pain. It is time to listen to that inner voice that is telling you what is best for you. Emotional pain is telling us not to go in certain directions…and to get away from certain people. 

Listen to your pain…and listen to your passion. No one has a right to crush your dreams. If you feel lead to do something, you should do it. 

Love and Peace,

Annie

gentlekindnesscoaching.com

Discount offered on coaching , if you mention this blog. Just go to the web site and send me a message from the Contact Page . You can have 15 dollars off of one month of coaching (regular price 75 dollars

 

 

abuse, abuse poetry, abusive relationships, aftermath of abuse, aftermath of narcissistic abuse, dark poetry, domestic abuse, domestic abuse blog, domestic violence, emotional abuse, healing after narcissistic abuse, narcissism, narcissist, Narcissist psychopath, narcissistic abuse, narcissistic abuse syndrome, poem, poetry, Psychopath, psychopathic abuse, Uncategorized, women abuse

Contempt is Your Mistress

Contempt is Your Mistress

I am so tired
My brain is in shock
I can no longer arrange
The thoughts in my mind

My head aches from trying
And thinking so hard
To straighten the pieces
Back into their function

The pieces that are sharp
The pieces that are scalding
The edges that cut like blades
The fragments that shatter bones

My mind is shattered
And disconnected
My body is poisoned
Almost into seizure

My thoughts – explosions
Of anger and pain
My feelings – shock waves
From shaming and blame

Sensations of fire
Sensations of death
Sensations of freezing
Delusions of rest

You’ve stolen my truth
For your own empowerment
You bloodied my faith
To prove your sick point

You forced me to hate you
You forced me to lie
You opened strange poisons
And forced me to try

Your mind is so twisted
With anger and hate
You’ve made me the same
In part of my brain

You felt so compelled
To damage and crush me
Contempt is your mistress
She slept in my bed

abuse, abuse red flags, abusive relationships, battered women, blame shifting, devaluation, domestic abuse, domestic violence, mental abuse, narcissism, narcissist, Narcissist psychopath, narcissistic abuse, narcissistic psychopath, narcissistic victim abuse syndrome, Narcissists, Psychopath, Psychopath abusive relationship, red flags of an abusive person, red flags you are dating an abuser, Uncategorized, verbal abuse

Escalating Partner Abuse and Domestic Violence

Domestic abuse increases in intensity over time. There are certain red flags to look for that often predict future violence.

Please know that any kind of restriction of your movement or freedom of mobility is abuse. If your partner is angry and blocks the doorway so you cannot leave and you are afraid to pass them, this is abuse. This behavior often leads to holding, hitting and other physically abusive behaviors.

Someone holding your wrists to keep you from leaving, or holding your body so you can’t move, against your consent, to keep you from leaving the room, is physical abuse.

Your partner sitting on top of you to hold you down, in anger, is abuse. If they accidentally “bump into you” hard enough to injure you, or to threaten or frighten you, this is abuse.

Verbal threats of physical violence are abuse. Damaging your property and punching holes in the walls to frighten you, is abuse.

Swinging their fist or hand, near to your face or body, to frighten you, is abuse. Other behavior which is abusive is taking your keys, or hiding your keys so you cannot leave the house.

Anything designed to force you to stay when you want to leave is abusive. This includes hiding your car or disabling your car. Also interfering with your car payments such as by intercepting your mail or computer payment.

Threatening your children, and implying threats to your children is abuse, and often is a sign of more escalated violence to come.

Pregnancy often escalates abuse. Children living in the house that do not belong to the abuser, is a red flag to watch for physical abuse, if other signs mentioned above have occured.

You should not feel threatened or frightened by your partner. It is not normal.

You should not feel like you have to walk on egg shells not to anger your partner. Love is not controlling and manipulative.

If someone loves you they want you to feel safe. Someone who loves you will accept you for who you are, and not demand you change for them and comply with everything they want.

Abusers feel entitled. They think of you as something they own. They expect you to know what they want and how they want it. They sometimes will intentionally change the rules without telling you, just to see you “fail.”

If any of these things sound familiar, please begin to find a way out of the relationship. But be careful about how you leave them.

Confronting a control freak partner can lead to sudden violence that you may not expect. Contact a women’s shelter so that they can advise you about safe escape.

Blessings,

Annie

abuse, abuse red flags, abusive relationships, aftermath of abuse, aftermath of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse blog, domestic violence, emotional abuse, gaslighting, mental abuse, narcissism, narcissist, Psychopath, Psychopath abusive relationship, psychopathic abuse, PTSD from domestic abuse, PTSD from mental abuse, Uncategorized

Domestic Abuse Re-traumatization and Isolation

Domestic abuse shatters your self esteem because you are treated in such an inhumam way. No…worse than that…you are treated worse than an animal.

Domestic violence and mental / emotional abuse take away your dignity and leave you feeling heavily weighted with shame. It is hard for people who have not been through abuse to understand the shame, and it is hard to explain to them.

The events which occur behind closed doors, in an abusive house, are dofficult to tell people about. If you try to tell them and they do not believe you, this can be very painful and re-traumatizing.

Because you cannot tolerate any more pain, you will likely give up after being re-traumatized a few times by people you thought would believe you.

Some of the events are harr for people to believe, particularly if they knew your abuser, and the abuser treated them completely differently than they treated you. Not only that, the abuser also treated you differently in front of other people, than they did when you were alone with them.

You will be accused of lying, mis-contruing events, having a bad memory, misunderstanding the abuser’s intentions and of being mentally unbalanced. People do not believe that you interpret, perceive or remember events and situations accurately.

The reason this is particularly painful, is that the abuser also accused you of the very same things, many times. They said they did not really “bump” into you that hard, you bruise easily, and that they have been very patient with your over-sensitivity.

They told you that you have a tendency to forget things, to mis-interpret things and even to be abusive to them and not think you were being abusive.

Your reality was has been so twisted around that it took a great effort to regain your faith in your own perception of reality. Even now, you may have the habit of questioning what you see and heat. But your gut tells you when something is wrong about how someone is treating you.

Sometimes the pain of being re-traumatized, minimized, disbelieved, and humiliated all over again can make you self-isolate. You may have cut off contact with people, or you just do not talk to people about anything personal.

There is a natural human need to connect with others. Feeling alone and isolated can extend the abuse. If you are still living with abuse, then you may be very isolated from other people.

Sometimes hearing your very own story, from someone else who is telling their story, can be surprising, because you feel like you are the only one. The abuser quite intentionally caused you to feel that you were very different from other people.

They intentionally isolated you, for a few reasons. They did not want you to have outside support or objective opinions. They wanted to be able to have full access to your brain, allowing keys to no one.

As you are beginning to read about the patterns, methods, and intentional techniques of the abuser, you will be surprised how they are all the same. That being said….these methods are extremely effective and soul raping.

The feeling of isolation, both during and after abuse can cause extreme depression and it can cause anxiety disorders. You can feel mentally and emotionally isolated in a room full of people.

As you continue on your journey towards healing, you will find your authentic self. You will slowly grow more balanced over time and be able to re-build your self confidence.

You are special and unique. The abuser targeted you because you were compassionate and understanding. These qualities are still a part of you and they make you an important and special person.