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Betrayal by the Narcissist

The aftermath of narcissistic abuse can be brutal…even worse than the abuse when you were in the relationship. If you are wondering why you seem to be in worse shape now, than when you were in the relationship, you are not alone.

The narcissist intentionally caused you to become addicted to your role, and your identity, that they made you accept. During the idealization phase they bombarded you constantly with messages and phone calls.

This was to intentionally alter your chemicals, in order to create an addictive bond with them. This is a very addictive bond, in which the brain and the body become dependent upon the dopamine release when you think about the narcissist, or hear their voice.

You were conditioned to crave this interaction, their approval, and their validation of your reality. Within a month or so, your brain began to be unable to regulate your stress level without the narcissist regulating them for you.

This is part of their design. The narcissistic psychopath  intentionally creates a chemical addiction in you. This makes their Silent Treatments, and dissapprovals , during the Devaluation phase that much more painful.

After all….is there any relationship you have ever bern in…other than with a narcissist or a psychopath…that caused you such high levels of toxic loneliness, feelings of emotional disregulation, and mental pain…..when you were apart from them for a few days….or did not hear from them for a few hours, when they had promised to call….

This is addiction. It has physiological evidence in your brain. You could see it, if you had an MRI machine handy. This is intentional and this is what the Love Bombing is all about.

It is also why they revert….although temporarlily…to the idealization phase….anytime they feel they are losing their hold on you. By reverting to the idealization phase temorarily, the narcissist confuses your brain as well as creating a chemical explosion in you.

Those feelings of having that adfiction satisfied come back, and for that…you will not….and cannot leave them. Your brain always craves that next fix of chemicals and the narcissist knows this.

They intentionally use this addiction to manipulate you. They hold a power over you, like no other person can.

And when the relationship ends, you go into a terrible withdrawal of these chemicals that you were trained to be addicted to.

You crash fast and hard. The symptoms are similar to that of any drug addict that has been cut off from their drug of choice. It is not your fault.

It is not your fault. It was done without your consent. You never asked for this. You never saw it coming. You never saw it happening to you.

The withdrawal from narcissist or a psychopath is terrifically painful, and grueling to go through. You are the most vulnerable during this stage of recovery, to be hoovered back in by the apologetic narcissist.

It is understandable why victims go back to the narcissist, if they attemt to hoover them bac. In within the first six months. The chemical addiction and withdrawal symptoms seem to have a painful hold on survivors of a narcissist, for 6 months or more.

So why does your life fall apart? It is like what any other addict experiences. All aspects of your life are affected….from your emotional and mental states, to your physical health and immune system.

Keeping up with daily living activities is very difficult. Going to work is difficult. You become sleep deprived from insomnia, because your brain cannot self regulate your nervous system.

You are not crazy. A person that told you they cared about you, intentionally messed up your brain. They would do it all over again if they got the chance….and they may try…

Being tortured by someone you loved…and probably still love….is the worst form of betrayal.

 

 

 

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Devaluation Phase of Narcissistic Abuse Psychopath Partner

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Mirroring Techniques and Other Methods / Narcissistic Abuse Idealization Phase of the Narcissist

This is a video of a class taught by David Snyder. David Snyder teaches NLP hypnosis and also Dating and Attraction. He is also a martial arts teacher.

This video can be helpful to you in two ways. I want to explain to you how what he is teaching in this video can be used for good or for evil intentions.

These techniques are about mirroring the person, repeating back to them what they say, and drawing out conversation from them about their feelings and experiences. He gives you very good methods for doing these things and how to draw someone into talking to you about themselves.

People love talking about themselves with someone who they perceive cares about what they are saying. If you use these techniques with someone, you can get them to talk about themselves to you in many cases. Nothing is fool proof but I have tried these techniques and they are effective.

If you have social anxiety , PTSD, or trouble approaching someone and talking to someone you are interested in, then you will find value in what David Snyder teaches in this class. This is using it for good.

But on the other side of morality…these are the very kinds of techniques that the narcissist / psychopath uses to lure their prey. They mirror your words, phrases, and body language. They make you feel a connection with them this way.

They draw you into the conversation and get you to tell them all kinds of things about yourself very early into the relationship. Normally you probably would not tell someone the level of personal things that you ended up telling the narcissist.

Check this out so that you can recognize when someone is mirroring you, repeating words back to you etc. It does not mean that they are a narcissist. They might be a good person that is really interested in you.

If you recognize that someone is doing these techniques then turn things around and see if you can reverse the conversation. Become the one who is doing the mirroring , repeating words back and draw them out to tell you about themselves.

See what response you get once you begin to control the conversation. If they are really interested in you then they will be happy to fall into this with you. They will tell you about themselves and not press you about talking things that you do not want to talk about.

Be careful what you tell someone early in a relationship, especially if you just met them. Make sure you are volunteering information that you want to share at that time. If it feels too early then it probably is. Go with your intuition.