The aftermath of narcissistic abuse can be brutal…even worse than the abuse when you were in the relationship. If you are wondering why you seem to be in worse shape now, than when you were in the relationship, you are not alone.
The narcissist intentionally caused you to become addicted to your role, and your identity, that they made you accept. During the idealization phase they bombarded you constantly with messages and phone calls.
This was to intentionally alter your chemicals, in order to create an addictive bond with them. This is a very addictive bond, in which the brain and the body become dependent upon the dopamine release when you think about the narcissist, or hear their voice.
You were conditioned to crave this interaction, their approval, and their validation of your reality. Within a month or so, your brain began to be unable to regulate your stress level without the narcissist regulating them for you.
This is part of their design. The narcissistic psychopath intentionally creates a chemical addiction in you. This makes their Silent Treatments, and dissapprovals , during the Devaluation phase that much more painful.
After all….is there any relationship you have ever bern in…other than with a narcissist or a psychopath…that caused you such high levels of toxic loneliness, feelings of emotional disregulation, and mental pain…..when you were apart from them for a few days….or did not hear from them for a few hours, when they had promised to call….
This is addiction. It has physiological evidence in your brain. You could see it, if you had an MRI machine handy. This is intentional and this is what the Love Bombing is all about.
It is also why they revert….although temporarlily…to the idealization phase….anytime they feel they are losing their hold on you. By reverting to the idealization phase temorarily, the narcissist confuses your brain as well as creating a chemical explosion in you.
Those feelings of having that adfiction satisfied come back, and for that…you will not….and cannot leave them. Your brain always craves that next fix of chemicals and the narcissist knows this.
They intentionally use this addiction to manipulate you. They hold a power over you, like no other person can.
And when the relationship ends, you go into a terrible withdrawal of these chemicals that you were trained to be addicted to.
You crash fast and hard. The symptoms are similar to that of any drug addict that has been cut off from their drug of choice. It is not your fault.
It is not your fault. It was done without your consent. You never asked for this. You never saw it coming. You never saw it happening to you.
The withdrawal from narcissist or a psychopath is terrifically painful, and grueling to go through. You are the most vulnerable during this stage of recovery, to be hoovered back in by the apologetic narcissist.
It is understandable why victims go back to the narcissist, if they attemt to hoover them bac. In within the first six months. The chemical addiction and withdrawal symptoms seem to have a painful hold on survivors of a narcissist, for 6 months or more.
So why does your life fall apart? It is like what any other addict experiences. All aspects of your life are affected….from your emotional and mental states, to your physical health and immune system.
Keeping up with daily living activities is very difficult. Going to work is difficult. You become sleep deprived from insomnia, because your brain cannot self regulate your nervous system.
You are not crazy. A person that told you they cared about you, intentionally messed up your brain. They would do it all over again if they got the chance….and they may try…
Being tortured by someone you loved…and probably still love….is the worst form of betrayal.
If you are living in a domestic abuse situation, or living with a pathological narcissist, you might have the feeling you are existing in a fog. Your brain feels slow to process the world around you.
This brain fog state is caused by C-PTSD from mental abuse. Your mind is being intentionally manipulated and your cognitive processing is being slowed down.
Our brains are our own. They were not designed to tolerate other people intentionally, and systematically changing what we see, think, feel and perceive. The narcissist gets into your hard drive and loads viruses into your brain.
These viruses keep working continuously, even when the narcissist or psychopath is not presently with you.
This feeling of being in a fog, can last long after the abusive situation has ended. Your brain has conflicting programming, just like people who have been brainwashed by a cult.
The brainwashing tactics of the psychopathic narcissist are the same as the ones that have been used by cult leaders for so many years. Sleep deprivation, shared psychosis, and cognitive dissonance are just some of these methods.
You need to sleep. The sleep deprivation will keep your brain from being able to re-boot. You cannot begin to see clearly without enough sleep.
You need to take some control over some aspect of your life. Even if it is a small thing, like doing yoga before bed for 15 minutes, or taking a shower every other day at 7 pm, your brain needs to be told that you are the one driving the bus.
You need to calm down the fight-or-flight alarms. Yoga can help or any kind of physical activity you like. Calming activities that help you focus on the present moment, like coloring, crafts, hobbies, walking etc, can help.
Hypnosis for C-PTSD from narcissistic abuse can be very helpful. I have used this successfully with my life coaching clients.
I am currently working on a series of audios for this. If you want to be on the list to be notified when I release them, feel free to leave a comment on this post.
The brain fog from narcissistic abuse is not something you can just snap out of. One of the reasons for it is that your brain is trying to protect you from further trauma. It is a kind of emotional shock that your brain is in.
Your senses have been dulled, in order to reduce the effects of any further traumatic events. The fight or flight mode also has another element, which is “freeze mode”.
This brain fog state is like a freeze mode that the brain goes into, because it senses danger and threat. Your brain is always trying to protect you, so be gentle and treat yourself with compassion and acceptance.
Visit my web site for more information about narcissistic abuse. You can join the mailing list for a newsletter, send me a message, and get info about hypnosis and coaching.