abusive relationships, aftermath of abuse, emotional abuse, narcissistic abuse, overcoming narcissistic abuse, Uncategorized

Thriving Amongst Predators

Predators like narcissists, and sociopaths / psychopaths are a percentage of the population.

At least 10 percent of the population is toxic and psychologically dangerous to be close to, ad far as I can tell.

While there are beautiful, creative, kind people in every culture, there are also predators in every culture

It is not something new. They go back as far as history does.

You see them described in Greek mythology and mythology from other cultures. There are stories about them in the bible, going back to Genesis .

So yes, we have to survive, or hopefully thrive, amongst predators and personality disordered individuals .

For some reason, it is part of living in this reality on this earth.

Many speculate as to why there is suffering in the world.  While not all suffering is due to psychopaths and narcissists, a lot more of it is than people credit to them.

The question as to why is just that. It’s a question that is beyond us to really know.

The priority to me, as q life coach of abuse victims, is to support people to be able to live, create, find joy, and connect with humanity in a way that makes life worth living.

The will to live is often precarious, after years of being attacked by these kinds of dark workers.

I refer to them as dark workers, because they are the opposite of light workers who are people who care about the better side to humanity and try to bring that light to othets

So many victims of cruelty by these toxic individuals are nearly at their end of having the will to go on. The narcissists try to remove any beauty from your life.

They give the illusion of hope to the victim, only to crush it under their feet

They would have you believe that they can’t help their behavior because they were once abused themselves.

The evidence is clearly against this being true, since so many people go through horrors at the hands of these predators and have not turned evil.

Abuse does not turn people evil. Abusers just want you to think they can blame someone else for their lack of humanity.

But man’s inhumanity to man goes way back. It goes back as far as history goes. Man’s inhumanity to man does not describe most people.

It does not describe mos5 abused people. It only describes the dark ones who inflict cruelty on others for their own gain and personal sadistic enjoyment.

Your narrative may have been influenced by one or more cruel indivuduals.

You may have been mislead by someone with no capacity to love and show compassion, that you are solely responsible for the way your narrative turned out.

But every time you had to respond to attacks and danger from a predator, you made the best choice you were able to make at the time. Your choices and decisions were based on what was happening, and  who you needed to protect.

Do not attach your identity to the narrative of a life that was interfered witg by one or more cruel, abusive people. They chose to put you into situations, whete there was no good choive. There were just efforts to avoid the lesser of the eviks that a predator was about to dish out to you, or to someone you were trying to protect from more harm.

The less importance you give to that narrative that was your life up until this point, the better you can detach from the narcissist.

All the parts that were written by, or interfered with by a psychopath or a narcissist, are their writing. They wrote those sections of a play that you never consented to being in.

Your narrative is the one you would have created if you had not been spending your time putting fires out all over the place, that some sadistic person was setting.

The way you would like your life to be matters. It says much more about you than the narrative that you have lived up until this point .

Don’t see yourself with eyes of shame, based on things the narcissists fed to you.

Don’t believe the lies you have been told by the people who  wanted you to suffer, fail and blame yourself.

These predators have no accountability. They want to blame everyone but themselves for their ridiculous behavior.

Believe in the person within you that would have created an entirely different story. Drink that story in.

You are the one who believes what you know is beauty, and what you know is truth deep down inside.

Let your logic and critical thinking guide you, as you make decisions and take action to make things better for yourself and those who deserve a beautiful life

Listen to your intuitiom about the people you meet, and the things they say. Don’t be conned by the con artists that want to make you feel like there is something wrong with you for knowing to question their intentions.

If someone has alterior motives, questionable intentions or contempt for you, then they deserve to be distrusted by you.

No matter how they manipulate your thoughts around, you do not have to feel guilt or shame for wanting to survive, avoid pain, or to create a beautiful life.

You are not responsible for someone else’s behavior. You are not obligated or responsible to make allowances for another person’s character flaws to your own detriment, or to the detriment of your children.

The predators have no more of a right to survive and live well than you do. They may feel entitled to things that you have or things you do not have, but that is their problem. It does not have to be your problem.

You will be in a better position to offer your gifts to others, when not being destablized by cruel, abusive manipulators

Reserve your love, acceptance and generosity for those people that have compassion, kindness and creativity.

Narcissists and psychopaths / sociopaths are mimics. They imitate normal emotion and they are practiced con artists.

You do not have to disclose your thoughts, feelings or ideas to eveeyone who asks you questions, or pretends to care .

You can take your ability to create your life back. Your right to create your own path never went away.

Remember that abusers, con artists, covert narcissist, and  victim – playing predators are grandios in their thoughts about themselves.

They have contempt and envy of you. It is their problem and you cannot fix them.

They choose who they are each and every day.

They don’t have the right to choose who you are, or tell you that they know you better than you know yourself .

You can create your own narrative, both past and present . Your story is what you believed, in regards to beauty, love, creativity and humanity.

Doing the dance with a predator can feel like it contaminates you.

But your mind is highly more intelligent in regards to being a creator, rather than a destroyer.

Your story is not the one that your abusers told you. Even your memories are affected heavily by the gaslighting and the lies they told you.

It’s impossible to actually remember any events exactly the way they were. So if someone has made you feel shame about situations where you were trying to survive abuse, then the chances are the truth is lost in translation anyway.

Your story is you and your humanity. Your story is about the person who still offered kindness to others and struggled to believe in humanity in the midst of being in close personal proximity to a dark worker

Their dark work will go on most especially because they are always twisting the truth, changing the facts and even their own narrative.

Let it be. Protect yourself and your loved ones who have true compassion for others.

Be the light for your own path. The narrative that makes you feel like a failure, or inadequate is lies and gaslighting.

It is something imposed upon you by dark manipulators that had an alterior agenda than it seemed .

Live life creatively. Use your critical thinking. Listen to your intuition.

And most importantly, believe in yourself

Not the self of someone else’s narrarive of you.

The real person that you are. The one that had an entirely different narrative of their life in mind.

Hold onto that narrative as the one that represents you.

 

 

 

 

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insomnia, mental health, mental illness, Uncategorized

Awakening to Your Sleep Reality

spiritual sleep

image from Pinterest– link HERE

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A great percentage of your life is spent sleeping. This feels like a waste of precious time to some people. To others it is a escape  from an otherwise unbearable existence. 

We try to find ways to avoid sleep, in order to get things done that we deem more important. Or we self medicate ourselves by sleeping, and think of it as an escape from being in reality. But sleep is a reality all its own, that it intertwined with our waking reality.

 The sleep states are a natural part of our existence. There are different stages of sleep that each serve important functions.

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sleeping woman.

image from Pinterest – link HERE

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The subconscious awakens and exists in a different way during sleep, than it does when you are awake. The processes that the subconscious parts of the brain need to do, are an important part of your maintaining your emotional, mental, and spiritual balance.

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Sleep deprivation will cause deterioration in your mental state, your emotional state, memory, and cognitive functions. It effects your ability to have a clear continuity from one day to the next. Over time, sleep deprivation can cause a breakdown of your mental state, resulting in mental illness.

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image from pinterest – HERE

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Sleep can be affected by various things. If you are unable to sleep straight through for 8 or 9 hours, then it is critical to your mental health that you make up the missing sleep hours at another time of the day.

This is not laziness. You are not being unproductive when you are sleeping. Lack of proper sleep will cause decreased productivity and poor efficiency. You will have memory problems, especially related to spatial and time memory.

The sleep states are a part of our reality. Your subconscious brain exists just as much as your conscious brain does.

Your core beliefs, your memories, your perceptions of reality, and your emotions are all functions of your subconscious brain.

Your conscious awake state cannot exist separately from your subconscious reality.

Sleep is critical to make sure all these realities, and the different parts of your brain are working both together…and independently… in a way that best supports you.

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awaken

image from Pinterest – link HERE

Spirituality… higher consciousness …and your perceptions about the nature of your reality…are all intertwined with what happens in the brain while you sleep.

Your mental and emotional health are dependent upon your getting proper sleep.  This is also true about  your immune system and your physical health.

Your spiritual health has to do with believing in, and perceiving something beyond the reality of the five senses.

Spirituality gives you a greater perspective about your existence.

Being able to perceive your higher consciousness… and spiritual realities… is also intertwined with your brain being able to experience the sleep states. Your spiritual health is dependent upon letting your conscious brain  rest, so the other senses can awaken.

You are not wasting time by sleeping. You are allowing an important part of your reality to exist. You are increasing your brain’s ability to function well during your waking hours.

We are more than drones or robots. We need more to our existence than just survival. …something more to living than just paying the bills.

Treat your body’s need to sleep with thoughtfulness.  The sleep states are the interconnecting path between realities and levels of consciousness.

What happens when you are awake affects your dreams, and what happens in your dreams affects your consciousness.   🌷

Sleep well tonight,

Annie 💕

 

abuse, abusive relationships, depression, domestic abuse, healing after narcissistic abuse, healing from domestic abuse, healing from narcissistic abuse, overcoming narcissistic abuse, people pleaser syndrome, Psychopath abusive relationship, PTSD from domestic abuse, PTSD from mental abuse, Uncategorized, wellness, women abuse

Your Compassion Matters

Every act of compassion matters. Each time you offer a kindness to another living being it matters.

Whether or not you feel that they appreciated your intention afterwords or not, does not change what your intention was.

Sometimes we are not aware of the motives of others, or what is going on in their heads. You may have had a relationship with someone for a long time, and then realized that they never felt the way you thought they did.

They may not have accepted your loving intentions in the way you wanted them to. Some people feel entitled to your service, and therefore cannot truly appreciate the caring intention behind things you did for them. This does not change what your intention was.

Just because the reality of someone is different than your own does not change the power of your personal meaning for acts of compassion and kindness towards them.

Kindness can be shown to random strangers or even people who you never see. You may have held the door for a mom who was struggling with babies and bags at the store. Your small kindness may have affected her mood in a way that it was passed into her…and then she passed the kindness energy along to someone in her home.

You do not always see the domino effect of your good heart.

It is true that sometimes people will turn on you when you least expect it. You may feel that this negates every kindness you ever showed them. But this is not true.

Kindness and compassion are poweful energies. They exist in spite of people who cannot accept or appreciate their pure essence.

This is not to say that you should allow people to walk over you. It is not to encourage you to go out of your way for manipulative people. Not at all.

It is just let you know that your intentions always matter. They have a far more reaching effect than the particular person or situation.

Generating loving intentions towards others sends these intentions out into the energy fields all around you. You can send positive energies to someone sitting near you on the bus, and never speak a word to them.

The energy of intention takes on a life of its own. If you are empathic at all, then you can feel when someone near you is projecting bad energy like anger or evil intention. It is felt in your gut or other places in the body.

The people around you feel and receive the intentions you create. You can self generate compassion and kindness. It can be sent tosomeone else with a gentle touch on the shoulder, or just by making eye contact.

Studies have been able to prove that there are magnetic fields of energy that are projected out from each individual person.

In fact this is true for all living things. That is why you can feel certain kinds of grounding energies when you are in nature.

Trees and plants give off magnetic energy fields. Human magnetic energy fields extend at least 3 to 6 feet in all directions, based on scientific research and studies.

Paying attention to your gut feelings can protect you from people sending malicious energies. It can also guide you toward people that create positive intention and project that compassion outward for others to feel and access.

Some people are energy vampires. You feel drained of energy after spending time with them.

Others are generous with their beautiful strengthening energies. Humans can transmit feelings of  empathy, excitement, acceptance and many other loving energy fields.

Any act of kindness or positive intention you have done or will do, matters. Anytime you project compassion, it has an effect on the collective consciousness of living things.

Even if it turns out that you could not connect with someone in the way you wanted to or expected to, your positive intentions were still sent out to other living beings around you.

Try to surround yourself with loving, supportive people that accept your beautiful pure energies.

Even if someone has let you down in the past, you can still connect with caring people.

Your intentions matter, although you cannot change people who do not want to change. Everyone will not see you for who you are.

Everyone will not be receptive to healing energies, empathy or kindness. Some people just want to see how much they can manipulate you. Try to learn how to identify these kinds of people, so you can minimize contact with them.

The higher your consciousness level, the more truth you will see about the energy fields being projected by others.

Low consciousness levels will attract other people in similar consciousness levels.

Abuse and trauma can sometimes bring your consciousness level down, and affect what kinds of energy you are projecting.

Be careful to assess your psychological and spiritual state, before interacting with others.

Strengthen your ability to self generate states you want to be in.

Awareness of your intuition, gut feelings and energy sensations in your body will help you to self generate specific states.

All of your compassionate intentions have mattered and will continue to matter.

Even intentions that you sent out to people undeserving of those intentions, are not lost. The effect on the energetic dimension was still there, even if the person you were trying to care for had ulterior  motives.

People may try to drain your energies because they can control a drained person easier than someone filled with excitement and purpose.

You can build energy projection skills. You can practice self generating moods and states of being. The better you become at these skills, the more powerful you will be.

Namaste,

Annie 

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